Rules of Relationships for guys
by miacchi
Summary: It's just a book of random oneshots. Guys, take the goddamn advice. x
1. Introduction Rule 1 : ShikaIno

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A/N:

I hope you like my first story! I'm a beginner sort of writer so no flaming please? At least not yet and I'll be writing future chapters if there are reviews. Btw, Mia is helping me write all my stories now since she has nothing to do in her worthless time LOL jkz we are writing a new manga(for some weirdo reason but yerr.) Enjoy!

Maii and/or Mia

Fic starts under this line. lol

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**Rules of Relationships for guys**

_Having trouble in your relationships? Think your girl wants to break up with you? Well, lucky for you, we decided to get our asses out to actually write this for you! We have survived our relationships and decided to give you rules and what would happen if you went against it by telling you what we've done wrong! _

_So you've finally decided to gather your senses and believe us by reading the first page, eh?_

_Let's start of with the first rule:_

**Rule # 1: NO MATTER HOW LOUD SHE IS, ALWAYS PUT UP WITH HER**

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_She might be loud but she IS YOUR troublesome girl… Even if she might be a pain and an big distraction from your cloud watching, her loud voice is just shouting out to the world that SHE LOVES YOU! You must have a lot of patience if your girl is like Yamanaka Ino. _

Shikamaru sighed as he watched the clouds go by when he just got back from his mission. "SHIKA-KUUUUN!!" said a familiar yet very annoying voice. _Troublesome woman_, he thought as Ino ran and glomped him. "I MISSED YOU SOOO MUCH!" she shouted kissing his cheek and hugging him tight as if she'd never let go.

"I-Ino…I…can't breathe," he muttered as he was turning into very interesting colors. She let go and commanded him to sit up. "Nah. Too Troublesome," he replied out of boredom, still not taking his eyes off the clouds. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'TOO TROUBLESOME'?! GET UP, LAZY ASS!"

"No."

"YES!"

"…no…"

"I.SAID.YES. GOT IT?"

"no"

"WHY, YOU LITTLE…"

"I-Ino…wh-what are you doing with…_that thing_…?"

"Hehe…Wanna find out now…?" she held out HIS precious… shougi and go boards and… a chainsaw. She turned it on and said "Any last words…?" "I want my mommy…"he whimpered and was in a fetal position. Ino started destroying them and the job was done in 30 seconds.

He had tears in his eyes and started picking up the pieces of wood and began holding them in his arms like a baby and was shivering in fear of his Girlfriend. "N-No…INO, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS, YOU TROUBLESOME WOMAN?!"

"Troublesome, you say? My, my, Shikamaru. You don't really get it, _sweetie_?" she said in a shrill tone. She started cracking her knuckles and was heading for him… Nice and slow.

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"NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Chouji stopped eating his barbeque when Asuma asked "Hey, did you hear that?"

"Hmm…Yeah. Must be Shikamaru getting owned by Ino."

"You think we should help?"

"Nah. He'll learn from his mistakes. Let's keep eating! WAITER, MORE OF THESE PLEASE!"

"You know you're gonna have to pay for this?"

"Yeah."

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_Yeah. Good luck to you if that ever happens. I was in the hospital for a week. But it might get worse so… yeah follow what this troublesome book says or your luck will be run out._

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TBC.

**Hi I hope you ppl will support my fics! Please leave a review after the beep. BEEP**

**I hope you guys would help!**

**C yuu soon!**

**-M&M's LOL**


	2. Rule 2 : KakaAnko

**A/N: **hey ppl for all those who read the 1st chappiee (even those who didn't drop a review)

**Special Thanks to the reviewers:**

**Dayylie**

**Darkened Haloe **_hey thanks for the pairing request! THIS CHAPTER IS FOR YUU! And I WILL add randomness to this fic._

**And the anonymous reviewers:**

**poke hi5 **

**SasuTen fanjessica **_yerr thankz for the nice title comment! _

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**Chapter 2**

_Hehe… so you decided to read more of this, huh? Well, good for you. If you follow the rules, your girl will surely love you more than she already has! And maybe sneak a few 'surprises' in your head! nudge nudge wink wink! If you would keep reading this, your relationship will surely last as long as you want! Good luck!_

**Rule # 2: NEVER BE LATE TO ALL YOUR DATES (and don't even try those really lame excuses like a certain someone; IT DOES'NT WORK ANYMORE, YOU MORON!)**

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_Well, we already have a clue to who writes this chapter, ne? I know I do! If you have some things to do, either postpone it or do it earlier by a few moments like maybe 2 hours! That way, you have a lot of time preparing yourself for your hot date! If you're late, let me tell you what happened:_

"_AND DON'T YOU EVEN DARE TO BE LATE BY A FEW SECONDS! Got it?"_

"_Y-yes, ma'am… I'll be running away now…"_

"_YEAH! YOU BETTER RUN YOUR SORRY ASS TO HELL!"_

Recalling what she had said, Kakashi reminded himself not to be late or _No more Icha Icha Paradise for me… _He told himself as Anko, his girlfriend had threatened him the day before.

He decided to read a few more chapters in his precious novel before the date. _6 pm… Still have 1 hour to go… Anyway, I'm all set for this date. I'm dressed properly, mask is on, everything perfect, _he thought as he plopped himself on the couch of his tiny living room.

**2 hours later…**

_MUST.STOP.READING. NGH! TOO TEMPTING. Okay. Lemme just check the ti-OH FUCKING SHIT I'M LATE! _He ran as fast as he could to the dango shop putting his book in his pocket.

**In the dango shop after 15 seconds…**

"Sorry… I'm late… Anko… I over read… my book," he explained to her, inhaling as much air as possible and threw her the bouquet of white roses to his 'beloved Anko-chan'. The copy ninja thought she was blushing because of the flowers and that she forgot all about his tardiness. He took a look at her very revealing dress from top to bottom. He was drooling and had strange images in his head from the latest chapters of the book, and would later ask her if she wanted a "demonstration". But I wouldn't go into further detailed as this is rated T.

But of course she never forgot about this. Her temper was allowing smoke to come out of her ears.

"KAKASHI YOU BASTARD! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU FOR 2 HOURS BEING HIT ON BY THESE DRUNKEN MEN! DO YOU WANT ME TO SUDDENLY BE TAKEN FROM YOU! And drop.That.Perverted.Book of yours and listen to what I'm saying, dammit!"

"Uhhh… Sorry…?"

"THAT'S ALL YOU COULD SAY?! YOU ARE SOOO DEAD! No kisses for a month."

"Butbutbut…"

"And a week."

"Aaaankkoooooo…"

"2 more. Wanna add to that, _Kakashi-chan_??"

"…"

"Good. Now it's settled. No kisses for 2 and a half months, and that's final. I'm not giving in to anything. Not even a million pounds of precious dango could draw me in. Oh, yeah I forgot. Looking for this…?" She asked softly holding up the infamous little orange book the jounin has been interested in. She tied him up quickly with a rope which poofed out of nowhere.

"H-How'd you get that??" He stammered as he was looking in disbelief. She shrugged and brought out a little matchbox with her other hand. She slipped a stick out and held it out with her teeth. Kakashi stared at her and at her book. Anko. Book. He looked at them back and forth. But then she is attempting to light the matchstick.

"Let's see how you like your limited edition book likes fire, ne?" She threw the burning match on the ground, along with the whole box of it, and his book. _I can't let this happen! It's from Jiraiya-sama! THE AUTHOR! But if I prevent her from doing this, probably, no kisses forever! I'll just let someone stupid enough to steal it, like Naruto! He's Jiraiya's student anyways… _He planned out how he was gonna get another one and maybe, it'll work. Cheer up, Kakashi! It's gonna be okay…

He shut his eyes as he smelled some smoke in the air. Some tears went out of his eyes as he gave out a few sobbing sounds. Anko was asking the shopkeeper to videotape the whole thing. She was drinking some red bean soup and eating dango being entertained.

Then, she knocked him out.

**The next day…**

"Wow… Kakashi is such a sucker these days… it was a genjutsu all along. And he never detected it…" Anko had shown everyone the video last night to all of Konoha, Suna and Oto ninja. The genin, even Shikamaru, Shino, Sasuke, Neji and Gaara, especially Naruto, were laughing their asses off hysterically and had repeated the video a lot of times and have been given a copy each as the chuunin, jounin, daimyo, and Kages were as well.

When Kakashi had watched it, his face was flushed of embarrassment.

And as for the book and Anko, you ask?

Anko was reading it the whole time, face red. "So that's what in this book. Interesting; I'll start buying this tomorrow," she said out loud to no one in particular, staring at the ceiling. "Serves him right."

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**How'd yah ppl like that? Was it good? Funny? Just review after the beep.**

**BEEP**

**Same thing, no reviews, no upcoming chapters. THANK YUU**

**-M & M's **are yummy.


	3. Rule 3 : NaruHina

**A/N: **hey ppl for all those who read the 1st chappiee (even those who didn't drop a review)

**Special Thanks to the reviewers:**

**Dayylie**

**Athena Hermione Ravett**

We're sorry if your requests are not granted. But in the net few chapters, every single pairing (from favorites to okay pairings just not our hated ones) will be part of this fanfiction. We will put as much as we can and we only write/post stories from Fridays to Sundays and of course, holidays. Enjoy this chappiee! All these will apply if any of the characters would date.

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**Chapter 3**

_Believe us yet? I'm pretty sure you think it's a coincidence that you didn't have our past problems on your dates. Well, we're believable! Just see that you follow this rule._

**RULE # 3 : MAKE SURE HER FAMILY MEMBERS APPROVES OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP**

_Yo! I'm Uzumaki Naruto and I'm here to warn you about this rule. JUST FOLLOW IT IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE! I ENDED UP IN THE HOSPITAL IN A MONTH FOR THIS! Follow this rule ESPECIALLY if the one you're dating is from the #1clan in the village. DATTEBAYO! Here's what happened:_

"11 BOWLS OF MISO RAMEN, PLEASE! AND MAKE IT QUICK," Naruto loudly ordered 10 bowls for himself and one for Hinata, his date for the night. Everyday, they go to Ichiraku's straight after training. Of course, none of the Hyuugas (except for Hanabi) had known this relationship of theirs.

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**Meanwhile…**

"Hey, wanna go for some ramen? I'm starving," asked a very tired Tenten after 12 hours of training.

"Whatever."

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**Back to the ramen stand**

Naruto was slurping his ramen impolitely while Hinata silently adored his ways of eating messily. Suddenly, she saw Hyuuga Hiashi, the head of the clan and her father, along with Hanabi heading her way. She turned to look at the other side and saw her cousin, Hyuuga Neji, going in the same direction with his teammate, Tenten.

"N-Naruto-kun? C-Can you please hide with me under the table? Otou-sama a-and n-nii-san are heading this w-way… I h-have no problem with Hanabi-chan and T-Tenten-san because they know, b-but-"

"Don't worry, Hinata-chan! I'll tell them in a very calm way that we're dating now! They'll understand, believe it!" Naruto exclaimed with confidence as the Hyuugas were drawing near.

"B-But…"

"Leave it to me, Hinata-chan!"

"HEY, HEY! EVERYBODY, LISTEN UP! ESPECIALLY YOU, NEJI AND HIASHI! ME AND HINATA ARE DATING, JUST SO YOU KNOW. ARE'NT YOU HAPPY ABOUT IT?! I CAN BE PART OF YOUR FAMILY NOW!" Naruto pointed in the crowd as he revealed the "secret".

_Naruto, you idiot. You weren't supposed to tell yet! Sometimes, I don't even know how Hinata fell for you, _Tenten thought, sweatdropping.

_We are soo dead, _Hinata's tears were dropping, knowing what the deadly consequence is.

"…WHAT THE HELL?! NO WAY I'LL BE RELATED TO **THAT**!" Neji screamed being all OOC.

"THE KYUUBI BRAT? No.Way.In.Hell." Hiashi had a veerryy deadly tone in his voice.

"MUST PROTECT HINATA!" they both said together as Neji and Hiashi activated their byakugan.

"Hakke Hyakunijuuhachishou!" Hiashi did his move with 128 strikes on Naruto and Neji began his turn.

"Hakkeshou Kaiten!" he spun as blue chakra surrounded him.

Naruto flew away like a rag doll all the way to Suna. It took him a few hours to ask for help from the Sand siblings. At least he got back and went to the hospital.

As for Hinata, she wasn't allowed to visit Naruto while he was being confined.

_SEE? It's not nice for them not to be happy for us! THAT'S SOOO MEAN, DATTEBAYOO! AT LEAST MAKE HINATA-CHAN VISIT ME FOR AN HOUR! GAWD DOES IT EVEN KILL THEM?!_

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**How'd yah like that? Problems? Suggestions? REVIEW NOWWW! **

**Review after the beep. beeeeep**

**THANK YUU AND SUGGEST THE NEXT PAIRING! **

**- M & M's **are insane.


	4. Rule 4 : SasuHinaish

**A/N: **Hi ppls. Sorry we didn't get to update the story in ages… its coz we had too much ASSignments & ASSessment tasks due. It's like… 4-5 a week given so… yeah. Mia is gunna get her 2nd bronze! And Mai is… well yeah. Since it's the holidays, I'll be updating almost everyday for onlehh 2 weeks so... make it last by sending in reviews & comments!!

**Special Thanks for the reviewers:**

**Athena Hermione Ravett **

**Dayylie **_this chapter is for your special request!_

**Dei's Artistic Angel **_don't worry! The next chapter will be in your favor!!_

**And all the other readers who support but don't review!!**

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**Chapter 4**

_Hey there…Yeah you; okay. Since you have tried much more for your girl following this stupid book these stupid authors wrote, we'll tell you more. Probably this would be a good "sharing" for the lesson. _

**RULE # 4: NEVER USE YOUR OWN "GIRLFRIEND" TO MAKE ANOTHER JEALOUS.**

_Well, you all know who might be sharing this advice with you. This is Uchiha Sasuke telling you this…SO YOU BETTER FOLLOW YOU LOSER!! Anyways, I did the mistake of doing this while dating Hinata but…not pretty good……………… scary. So here's what happened:_

As Sasuke woke up, he began his daily morning routines BECAUSE it's the day he'll be spending the whole day with Hinata-chan! Since they were "officially" dating (if that's what you call using someone to make someone go jealous) about 2 days ago. And of course, Hinata fainted when he asked her the million-dollar question. And technically, Sasuke took it as a 'yes' and they went around everywhere together. Just not too intimate.

Finally ready, he took off to Hinata's favorite flower field where she usually stays after training (and 'watching her precious Naruto-kun'). He found her there sitting on a picnic blanket. She had prepared lunch for both of them since they might be staying there the whole afternoon. He sat down on the blanket next to her and they fell into silence.

"S-so, S-Sasuke-un… H-how's training?" she suddenly asked. "It's good", he answered, as dull as usual. _Where is she? She usually passes by here every single day_, he thought, looking for another 'certain someone'. "Let's eat". He initiated it so that they could go walking around town and he would secretly look for 'that person'.

They finished eating, packed up the basket and went into town. Sasuke looked around everywhere, holding Hinata's hand. Then he saw a pink haired girl in the flower shop talking with Ino. He pulled Hinata in telling her he would buy her flowers. "Which one do you want? You can pick any amount and any kind. Take your time, Hinata-chan," he stated as loudly as possible to make his old teammate hear and see everything. Hinata looked around the room with Ino's assistance, looking for flowers to decorate her room.

Sasuke stood there, thinking what to do next. He went up to the Hyuuga heiress, pulled her close and kissed her lovingly, making sure both girls saw what he was doing. Hinata had her eyed open so wide, blushing different shades of red. Finally, he pulled away and smirked, thinking the other girl was jealous and would like him again.

Hinata was so dazed because Sasuke never did these things to her before. _Why did he do that just now…? Is he… using me?_ She thought angrily. She went up to him, her face still red from embarrassment and anger. The Uchiha thought she wouldn't be the person to do things like hurting people or would think badly. So he just stood there, grabbing the bouquet Hinata chose and her hand as well. She refused and just…slapped him.

_What the hell…she just slapped me. Hard. Maybe she figured it out…? _He thought and pondered for a moment while Hinata was crying right in front of him with… a pair of scissors. _Oh. Mah. Crap. Why is she holding that and where did she get it from?_ He saw the three girls smirking and figured that the blonde and pink haired girls gave Hinata the torture devices like scissors. His eyes wandered around, looking for a way out. Then he saw Hinata was gone, and he felt colder that usual. On his head. And his clothes.

"SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO ME?" he screamed while panicking. "Y-you know, Sasuke-kun, if you m-move too much, that would only c-come to your disadvantage," the blue haired teen stated smartly. So he stopped moving, and let her do all the cutting. He also heard a lot of laughing from every single corner. He looked and saw all the senseis, the Konoha 12, the genin and (surprisingly) the sand siblings. He saw everyone taking pictures and videos ready to post on YouTube.

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_And that's what you get for not following that one rule. And messing with kunoichi. So that's what feminists are for._

TBC

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**Sooo…did yahz peepols like it? Hate it? Well, review after the beep.**

**BEEEEEEEEPP**

**Hope you continue supporting us & enjoy our future fics & chappiezz. DON'T FORGET TO REQUEST YOUR FAVORITE (no yaoi/yuri/incest plz) THANX PPL! **

**- M & M's **are part of teh CHICKUHNS.


	5. Rule 5 : NejiTen!

**A/N: **…Hi, we're back! Well, sorry for not updating soon because **SOME CERTAIN ANNOYING LITTLE BROTHERS** and crapping comps are sooo slow are taking up our computer time. There's 1 ½ weeks more so… yeah. PLEASE REVIEWW! The more reviews, the faster we try to update our story AND make new stories. Just PM us for ideas for new stories or chapters.

**Special thanks to the AWESOME Reviewers:**

_**Dei's Artistic Angel**__ no problem! I do it to anyone and everyone who reviews per chapter! YOU'RE SPECIAL! THIS IS FOR YOU!_

**And AWESOME Anonymous Reviewer:**

_**hyuuga-tenten**__we thought of those pairings to go next in this fic so.. KEEP READING. Too late for the request btw. Sorry, TRYING HARD TO UPDATE HEREE! _

**And everyone out there who reads this!!**

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**Chapter 5**

_Hello. I see you're back for more… You may be weird reading this but at least you're doing the right thing! Keep reading, you!_

**RULE # 5 : 2 WORDS. GET WHIPPED.**

_Pretty self explanatory there… I learned that through the hard way. So do whatever your girlfriend wants even to die! Isn't this a relationship? It's all about love! Before, I didn't know until SHE showed up. SO DO NOT TOUCH HER. SHE'S MINE. Oh, and Hyuuga Neji is speaking to you. As of now, you will be following my instructions._

FINALLY. After all that crap, they're finally together. Putting up with your friends ganging up on you being set up is hard work. So, that was it. Hyuuga Neji and (soon-to-be-Hyuuga) Tenten are together. Can't get through a day without each other.

After a night's rest feeling happy, Neji got up from bed. He was gonna get ready for training; _with Tenten. _Once he was done, he got out and went to their usual training spot. He thought this day was normal; but what he didn't expect was Tenten, the love of his life, holding…

_The sharpest pair of scissors he's ever seen._ But, in normal view, it was just your usual paper cutting scissors everybody else uses.

He was sweating; wondering why in the world she would hold something SO dangerous. She called him over sitting down under the shade. She landed a peck on the cheek as a greeting, seeing as they're "officially dating" and started talking.

"Hey, I have to go do a job today; apparently, Ino and Sakura are going on a date and asking me to trim their hair. They say I'm pro at this but just to make sure…" she checked if anyone was around and the Hyuuga was fully sweating (and probably wetting his pants) knowing what this is about.

"…andIalwayswantedtocutsomeofyourhairsocanIpleasecutsomeofit?" she quickly requested. _What to do… I can't let her down…Buuttt, I don't want any of my precious hair to get cut! _He thought. But he finally decided and answered "No."

"Why noooottttt??" she asked persistently.

"Well why me?"

"BECAUSE. Lee and Gai-sensei ran away too quickly and so did the others! PLEAAAAASE?"

"NO. Why would I-wait a minute… You scared off Gai and Lee…?"

"Yes I did. They said something about them having training pickles to be as 'youthful' as them or something…Anyways, DON'T CAHNGE THE SUBJECT!! IT'S ONLY GONNA BE A CENTIMETERRR!!"

"No."

"YESSSS, DAMMIT!" she glomped him and was trying to reach the end of his ponytail when he got up and quickly ran for his life. But what he didn't know was that Tenten knew he'd go this was so she set traps before he came. His foot got caught on a rope and next thing he knew, he was hanging upside down with his arms and legs tied up together so he wouldn't move as much.

Tenten put a blindfold on his eyes which was a bit useless because he had the Byakugan anyway. He activated it and saw that there were people surrounding him, but in the middle was the weapons mistress, still holding those devastating pair of scissors. He tried squiggling around to try stop her holding his hair, but a few others held him back as he closed his eyes.

Meanwhile, Tenten grinned madly as she held up a piece of his hair, showing it to the people, who turned out to be all their friends. "And as a punishment, I'll leave you here for a few days; no training and leave you to these guys", she said. "And they're taking videos; just so you know."

"…SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT!!" he screamed, losing his sanity as their friends behind the bushes laughed and kept on filming.

"…dude. I feel the same way, but this may be a whole lot better than the three minutes you have to wait for instant ramen," Naruto joked pointing at him.

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_And that is what you get when you don't do what she wants._

TBC

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**Hope you read & review again! We're waiting (we're online everyday anyways...) for your requests and thoughts on our story!! And maybe we'll make more…?**

**- M & M's **love coffee.


	6. Rule 6 : ShikaTema

**A/N: Heii guys… guess what. This is mia & mai's last chapter together because… mai-chan is migrating to London.**

**Maii:** OH NOESS…. TT.TT we be living there too sobs

**Miia:** butbutbut… I'll keep the username for youuuu… just promise to check kLk every once and a while… maybe drop a review or tip since u hav no email ads…??

**Maii:** SURE! We must keep in touch by… PHONES! But I'll miss this… even if it was only for less than a year. Maybe I'll get in and add my own stuff…?? Jk jk . my parents are waaaay to strict to allow me. That's why I come over!

**Let's thank the PRECIOUS reviewers:**

**-Bellita-chan-**_OH.MY.FREAKING.GUHHH. YOU ARE A GENIUS!! Next chappie tho… AsuKure is #7 and SuiKa is #8. MIA PROMISES YOU!_

**Sai the Artistic Nin **_can SaiIno be #9 on my list…? If u don't mind… but yerr request is answered!_

_**And the anonymous…**_

**Hyuuga-tenten**_thanks for pointing out the typo! fixed it up asap :P niark. Don't be so vain for suggesting! LOL jk jk…_

**And also the other readers!!**

…**and authors; the reviewer is always right. **

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**Chapter 6**

_Which is dedicated to our precious reviewers' requests from –__**Bellita-chan-**_**, **_**Sai the Artistic Nin **__and __**Athena Hermione Ravett **__from chapter 1's request…_

_Sooo… you're still reading. I see that we, the male authors of the book, are attracting more money for our bills for the hospital-I mean…fundraiser for the old like Tsunade, Jiraiya, Kakashi, Orochimaru and all the others- gets bashed by the old-err… YOUNG sannin and jounin population_

**RULE # 6 : BE MOTIVATIONAL; DON'T GE****T TOO LAID BACK AND DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR HER**

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_Yeah, yeah… whatever. At least TRY smiling for her, okay? Even if it's SO DAMN TROUBLESOME; even when you're SO DAMN SICK OF AIDS __AND __CANCER ALL AT THE SAME TIME; even if it's such a drag, just.Make.Her.SMILE. DAMMIT, if you wanna just throw away your life, then don't blame me for your death…Hell, I won't even come to your funeral!...It's too troublesome._

"What a troublesome day this is turning out to be," sighed the pineapple-headed ninja. He, even as a chuunin, was still assigned to do D-ranked missions all day. _D-_ranked. Yes, you heard me right. A _lowly, humiliating __**D**__­-ranked mission._If he was still genin, it would've been normal. Genin + D-ranked mission equals Normal. _Chuunin + __**D-ranked mission**__**s equals **__**NOT NORMAL; HUMILIATING.**_ And so, as a break, he lay down on the grass, just enjoying his passion for cloud watching alone. Buuuutttt…

"SHIKA-KUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNN!!" another hindrance to his precious pastime as the Sand kunoichi jumped on him so suddenly off-guard. "I was thinking, since those two little twerps might want to spend a little time together as brothers without killing each other, so I came here to visit you!" she explained.

After the chuunin exams about two and a half years ago (A/N: remember; this is shippuuden times…?), these two talked and gained _some_ interest to each other; having experience battling one another. So they decided to hook up; on and off all the time. They were thinking: _Who cares about distance when you're in __**love**__?_

"Okay, Shika-**babe**," she said making the young chuunin flinch from the given nickname without her noticing, "I need to go shopping; I need a break from all that stress in Suna. Paperwork, everywhere! I mean, can't those two brats can't handle business properly. Who do they think they are, bossing their big sister like that, huh? Who saved Kankurou's life from Gaara? Who changed Gaara's nappy when mom died? Who-"she went on ranting about her life back in Suna. Shikamaru was losing patience, tapping his foot, seeing they were already inside Konoha's Plaza in front of a clothing shop where Temari wanted to go to.

"-and remember 'the Forest of Death' thing at the chuunin exams? I couldn't even stand those two fighting over that dead dung beetle on the ground and-OMIGAWSH I JUST **HAVE **TO GET THAT DRESS! Wh-Hey, you pig, what the hell are you doing?! No-HEYYY!! THAT. G-STRING. IS MINE, YAMANAKA. I WAS GOING TO PAY FOR IT-NOW, SEE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! NO, IT'S NOT MINE AND WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?! WHY I-" she just noticed we got in when they where there 1 hour ago, then randomly brawls in a catfight with his best friend from team 10, Yamanaka Ino, _over a hot pink, sequined __**G-string**_. **AND **ripped it in half.

So the Nara got dragged out of the store by the jounin and went to another. So he let her have a look around the shop while he was idly checking his wallet. _Family picture… ramen coupons… credit card… ehh? No money? Meh, too troublesome to get to the… counter…_, So he was bored. And tired from standing so he took a seat on a couch in the shop and napped away.

After half an hour, Temari turned to her boyfriend and was gonna ask him to carry her bags all the way to Suna when she saw… that he was _sleeping._ In a shop. She approached the boy and shook him 'till he woke up.

"HEY, YOU LAZY BUM, WAKE UP! CARRY MAH BAGS ALL THE WAY TO SUNA! AND BUY ME THAT PURSE!" she angrily shouted at the brown haired ninja. He woke up, looking dazed and in reply, he said "I GOT NO MONEH FOR YAHR TROUBLESOME PURSE, TROUBLESOME WOMAN!" She was mad; seeing her boyfriend refuses to help her carry her shopping bags and buy her a new purse to save it from the clutches of the 'oh-so-bitchy' Yamanaka Ino, according to herself.

"Don't make me use my fan, Nara," she threatened. But to her surprise, he was snoozing off _again __**while she was talking.**_ She hated it; thought of it as rude even from her present love. "THAT'S IT! I'M TAKING YOU TO SUNA WITH ME!" she slowly opened her fan, the gust of wind surrounding her and following her weapon's movements. She raised it and swung it, which made our dear friend, Shikamaru, fly away to Suna like an airplane. Temari followed, teleporting back to where she expected him to land; Gaara's office.

**CRAAAAAAAAASSSHHHHHHHHHH!!**

And so, dear readers, I'll let you imagine what happens to our favourite pineapple headed boy as punishment. All you could hear is…

"**CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPING SHEIT."**

* * *

_And that's how Gaara and Kankurou had their first bonding experience after all that time._

TBC

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**BTW Mia's 1****st**** solo story is coming… please halp.**

**(undecided title... maybe 'the Lock and the Key' or 'The hunt' SUGGESTIONS ARE VEERY OPEN. ) **Tenten dreams of her mother's soul telling her she's engaged but she has to have a hunt which tests her abilities if she is truly worthy of being engaged to that person. And how would it go if Neji happened to be helping her with this test? But the real question is: Who's name is in that locket of hers and who has the key to it? _veeery lame. suggestions please...? and maybe some inspiration? lol. its like.. a treasure hunt kind of thing_

**Was it good? Bad? Any suggestions? Comments? Any HALP for the upcoming story/ies**?** Well, it's just one click away. Please review after the beep.**

**BBBBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!**

**Hope to review again! (Maii: **please smother this story and mia-san with all your reviews while im sob GOOONEEE…**)**

**We'll miss you Mai!**

**Now,**

**- M.**


	7. Rule 7 : AsuKure

**A/N: **ok guys… here's the 7th chapter inspired by the genius reviewer, **-Bellita-chan-**!! I am now working on my own and, yeahhh. sobs Please gimme more suggestions; I planned it all out buhh I need YOUR opinions! Especially for the upcoming fic (unnamed for now) and read the summary in the previous chapter.

**Special thanks to the SPECIAL reviewer:**

**Ayase Reincarnated**_don't worry; sorry but your request will have to wait in line. I promise to write those requests as well!_

* * *

**Chapter 7**

_Dedicated to __**–Bellita-chan- **__who came up with this idea_

_I see you're still here… Reading this book of ours… That's good and being a pathetic boyfriend asking help from this book of wonders. Let's see how long YOUR relationship lasts._

**RULE # 7 : NEVER DESERT YOUR PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND**

* * *

_Well, well… Lookie here. I never expected someone to actually follow my advice; nonetheless, about a RELATIONSHIP. I sorta helped my student out with his problems but I never predicted myself from having these problems as well… So, yeah; by the way, this is Sarutobi Asuma currently asking you to just follow what I say… for now._

_That was the best night I had ever lived for…_ the smoker thought. Apparently, he had spent his time over at Kurenai's a few days ago to…ahem, _get it done_, if you know what they mean. He had been thinking about it and got slightly distracted on his team training with the three chuunin. So he's done it; what do you expect for a grown man and woman to do in a relationship? Just hold hands until someone rips your arms out?

After that, he had been a bit busy, going on missions, completing reports and all that. Don't forget smoking. Then he decided to visit his 'beloved crimson rose' as he had referred to his girlfriend. So he went inside and found the genjutsu expert sitting on the ground crying, which was very unsuspected because she's not **that** fragile. Everyone knew her as a strong-willed jounin kunoichi in the village.

Concerned, he approached her and asked "What's wrong?" She heard him and felt him hugging her, and obviously trying to comfort her. "I've been sick for the past few days; I can't even get out of this house! And I need to go train my team; they're probably waiting for me. I should-"she sobbed and was cut off. "What do you need? I'll be buying my cigarettes; I'm running out on them," he said.

Just as he was about to get up, she spoke up. "I...I'm…," she tried to speak but the words wouldn't come out._ She __**is**__ sick… And nervous, _he worriedly thought. "You're…?" he asked her to continue her sentence. But she looked so tired. Dark circles around her eyes and her flushed face showed she was ill.

"Waitwaitwait…lemme guess… uhhh…," he pondered for a while after he put Kurenai on the sofa to rest. "…I want a glass of water," Kurenai whispered. Unfortunately, the man didn't hear her and was walking around the living room. But then he left after a while. Then she wondered, _What the heck?_

So Asuma **did** go to the shop. "I want 10 packs of cigarettes, and no, I do NOT care about the brand; and I want a first aid kit," he hastily asked the shopkeeper. He was literally jumping around, looking like he was seriously high on crack, but that's what the civilians thought. So he paid and grabbed the plastic bag and rushed to the red-eyed kunoichi's house which turned out to be beside the shop.

He went in and saw that Kurenai was standing like she was never sick at all, but she still looks sick. So Asuma opened one of his packs and took out a lighter and lit his little cancer stick. She pulled his collar and shouted, "DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I NEEDED THAT GLASS OF WATER?! I COULD'VE DIED OF DEHYDRATION!!" Asuma gave a little groan which she already understood. It meant 'how troublesome'.

"DID YOU EVEN KNOW WHY I WAS SICK?!" she yelled angrily. "uhh… you got a hangover…?" he guessed dumbly. She stomped off to her room and the man thought she had gone there to get some rest but she got out and held something in her hand. He squinted his eyes to see what it was. His eyes widened like dinner plates as he recognized what that was.

"…yes. A day after **that**, I _did _check. And the results are positive," she informed him, still looking angry. "…positive of what?" he asked innocently, yet feeling a bit woozy. She bonked him on the head as she announced, "…I'm pregnant. And it's She bonked him on the head as she announced, "…I'm pregnant. And it's **your **child, _dear._ All he could do was sweat and before he knew it, he was wet with sweat (it rhymes! LoL) AND Kurenai's barf.

**Then**, he fainted.

* * *

_That's what you deserve after what you're about to do. Get puked on and to get knocked out._

TBC

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**Can anyone suggest a title for my new story? I've got the plot and all it needs is a title!**

**Did you guys like it? Hate it? Any suggestions or comments? Just a click away. Leave a review after the beep.**

**BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPP!! **

**Thanks for reading!**

**-kLk.**


	8. Rule 8 : SuiKa

**A/N: aiight peepolz. I got a few requests and this one was next in line… I'm updating ASAP so… yeah. And also, PLEASE help for my next fic? I swear I'm sooo desperate. I'm not THAT good in writing. Yet. I've got like, 10 requests. I don't mind. That won't stop me from writing! Keep sending in more!**

**Special thanks to the AWESOME reviewers:**

_**Dei's Artistic Angel **__thank you very muchliees. And thanxx for the late reviews. Its okay… _

**And the anonymous**

_**hyuuga-tenten **__yeah. dw I'll take ur advice! Thanks for the requests!_

**So… here it is!**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

_Dedicated to the request of the reviewers __**–Bellita-chan-, Ayase Reincarnated **__and __**hyuuga-tenten.**_

_Hello. Don't you think you're obsessed with reading this book? That is actually a good thing which proves that you are worthy of her love. It's called "devotion"._

**RULE # 8 : DON'T ANNOY HER. EVER. **

* * *

_A pretty simple rule, I guess. Especially if she couldn't like you when you were in a team with her and her addiction. She was always swooning over him and what did I get? 'Shut up, Suigetsu!' or 'You're not as hot as Sasuke-kun!" and other stuff like that. But luckily, I had a chance when he finally left for Konoha and all she had was me and our other teammate, who is currently irrelevant to the subject. And this is Hoozuki Suigetsu telling you how to do things right._

_Wow, a new move I finally mastered! I have to show this to her so she can finally get over that bastard!_ the 15 year old boy thought. Ever since Sasuke left team Hebi, all Karin ever did was cry, rant about that pink-haired bitch and how she 'stole Sasuke' from her, talk about how Sasuke would've been better off with her and then cry some more. So Suigetsu and Juugo did everything they could to stop her from throwing her tantrums all over the place. Then Suigetsu and Karin became closer and then hooked up. But that didn't stop her bad temper from appearing every once in a while.

Just to impress her, he would spend a lot of time working on his techniques or maybe earn some money and buy her something pretty. And just today, he asked Juugo to go into town to go grocery shopping, 'coz he would run out of ingredients for cooking. And maybe to give them some time alone…?

So he went inside the little hideout they had since they formed a team, which they were living in at the moment. He found her there, just sulking and going on about her grumpiness. The usual. He ran to her and cheerfully announced "KARIN!! WANNA SEE MY NEW MOVE?! IT'S REALLY GOOD! I WORKED REALLY HARD FOR IT AND-" that is the only part the red-head heard as she wasn't really listening to the things her 'boyfriend' has been saying. She thinks it's a waste of time, having to watch a boring move. She didn't care about moves. It's just the appearances that count. That's what she always thought.

So she got even MORE pissed today. Acting all spoiled and rich, she always had this mood anyways. Suigetsu thought that if he made her happier, she would stop this ridiculous dreaming of her and the Uchiha getting together sometime. But it was really clear that he hated her, but she ignored that. All he said to his two male teammates was "You could have her." So he cooked up some snacks for her. An apple pie, a couple of cream puffs, a grilled cheese sandwich, a strawberry milkshake, a rootbeer float with 2 scoops of vanilla ice cream, a bowl of pork ramen and some spring rolls. That's quite a lot for snack time, but he thought they might share them.

One of his hobbies besides sparring and making up new jutsus were cooking and baking; even if he didn't seem like the type to do that. He just did it all for her and discovered that it was really interesting. He had a tray full of delicious snacks out for her, to try cheering her up. He went up to her and offered it to her. "Come on, Karin! Cheer up; you know Sasuke isn't ever coming back for you. Eat up," he said to her. But then the girl had pushed him away and this caused the food and drink to go on her which messed up her appearance.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!! LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE, YOU IDIOT! YOU MESSED UP MY CLOTHES! OMIGAWSH, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ON MY JACKET?! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU MAKE ANYWAYS?! DID YOU KNOW I WAS BUSY?! WHAT IS SASUKE-KUN GONNA THINK WHEN HE COMES BACK FOR ME?! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING NEXT TIME; YOU'LL BE SORRY!!" she screamed furiously. She approached the boy who was presently cowering up in a corner, still wearing that little pink apron. She choked him with her two hands and shaking him, showing her own rage. And the younger Hoozuki was turning into various colors like pink, blue and maybe purple from lack of air and comfort.

"SORRY! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT HAVING TANTRUMS COULD MAKE YOU BUSY! I WORKED HARD FOR THAT ONE JUTSU!! AND I USED UP MY LAST BIT OF SUGAR FROM THAT CREAM PUFF! AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY THE APPLE PIE!! YOU SHOULD STOP WORRYING ABOUT THAT CHICKEN-ASS HAIRED BASTARD!!"

Karin got up and picked up his weapon and tried threatening him with it. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU JUST DID, HUH?!" she yelled some more. "I SPENT A LOT OF MONEY ON MY OUTFITS AND YOU JUST MADE THE MOST EXPENSIVE DIRTY!! DOU YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT COST ME?!" But he blamed her for pushing him AND having that annoying little tantrum. Then, suddenly…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!! OW."

* * *

Somewhere, a tall orange haired man gathering some supplies from a nearby town. "Hehe… I knew that'd happen. He just saved me from another injury," he smirked to himself while picking up a pack of chips.

* * *

_That wasn't really a good time to send him shopping. I should've been the one to restock…_

TBC.

* * *

**Sorry, I don't really know how their team acts but I made them as OOC as I can possibly can :P**

**Have any comments or suggestions? Did you like it? Or not? ****Please leave a review after the beep. **

**BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPP!!**

**C yah soon!**

**- kLk.**

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	9. Rule 9 : SaiIno

**A/N: Hi again! Am I THAT fast at posting my chapters? If I am, I AM SOO SORRY!! Well, I've got 2 more days till my free time is over. Then I'm back to doing school work ( oh well. I'll post more and watch out for my next fic!**

**Special thanks to the reviewer:**

_**Ayase Reincarnated **__thanks! Your other requests are coming in soon!_

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 9  
**_Dedicated to the request of the reviewer __**Sai the Artistic Nin**_

_Yo! Didn't really expect you to go THIS far… Keep reading and you'll live a happy married life. :D Well then, KEEP READING!_

**RULE # 9 : IF YOU'RE ON A DATE, WEAR SOMETHING DIFFERENT**

* * *

_Well, I never really wore anything besides my usual outfit. What's wrong with it anyway? I mean, what's so bad about it? But of course I changed clothes; to be clean. It's just that it's my look. Seriously; why would people think about clothes when you're on a mission or a date? Doesn't it have the same goal? __**Just finish it. **__Anyways, I don't really know my real name; but you can call me Sai._

**Sketch, sketch, sketch.**

That was all the boy could do after having a day off. Since his teammates and sensei are off to do who-knows-what, he thought it might be a good time to get together with his girlfriend Ino. "Trying to be emotionless in a relationship is really hard, don't ya think, Sai?" that's what everyone tells him. But he goes for it anyway.

So he's got his first date. In 5 minutes. And to pass the time, he's sketching in a beautiful field of flowers. And in 4 minutes, he was able to finish a drawing of his beautiful Ino-chan. Speaking of the girl, she ran to him and gave him a hug. She saw he was drawing, but didn't quite see what it was.

"EEEHHHHHH? WHAT'S THIS SAI-KUN?! YOU DREW THIS, RIGHT??" she was pointing to the drawing. When she looked at it, her baby blue eyes were twinkling in admiration of the artwork. "WOOOWWWW, IS THIS ME?! OMIGAWSH, SAI-KUN!! THIS IS SOOO PRETTY!! I NEVER KNEW YOU WERE **THAT **OBSERVANT!!" her loud voice exclaimed. He could clearly see her face and she was happy.

But then she stood up and posed, which showed her new, ahem… very revealing outfit of hers. It was a tight purple leather skirt that went up higher than her mid thigh. And she was wearing a matching purple tube top that only covered her chest. She was wearing boots that went below her knees. And her long wavy hair was down. Very interesting choice of clothing, ne? The pale boy just stared and well… **stared.**

_She's wearing that just for a date? She could've just worn her usual clothes, _he awkwardly thought. He liked the clothes, actually. And then he glanced at his own outfit. He was just wearing his usual clothes and brought his usual stuff. He doesn't really know that you just **NEED **to wear something different and nice; especially if the girl you go out with just DIES if her look is completely ruined.

And he couldn't be bothered to pick something out. All his clothes are the same anyways. And if he went shopping… That wouldn't be him at all. But what if he asks for help; Naruto for example. Then he'd look like a living, walking giant idiotic carrot (no offense to people who like orange; I like it too!), for crying out loud! Or even worse; **Lee.** He'd look like those two cloned aliens! He could see it now. He shuddered- wait, he was supposed to be emotionless! Well, back to the story.

"WHADDAYA THINK?" she asked, batting her eyelashes flirtatiously. "Well, you look… great!" he put on another fake smile. Then she noticed; he wasn't wearing anything special! That's not good! So she asked him "Sai-kun, why aren't you wearing anything different? Aren't you supposed to on a date?" But then he sighed; he knew she was gonna ask him sometime now. "Well, it's because there's nothing else to wear other than this; all my clothes look exactly alike. And if I went shopping, or ask another guy to help me, I would look as stupid as those two morons," he explained.

But to Ino, that was no excuse. How would he **not **tell her?! He knew she was Konoha's fashion expert; and 'forehead-girl doesn't even KNOW fashion' according to her. Why didn't he tell her then? They would've gone shopping; but the black haired boy just didn't bother. So she got mad because of this and threw the sketch book out of frustration and stomped over to him and yelled "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME, DAMMIT!! WE WOULD'VE GONE SHOPPING TODAY! DON'T YOU TRUST ME?!" she also felt weird that someone decided **not** to go shopping with her. Everyone usually asks her what looks good on them but Sai is different.

Rarely, Sai felt fear. This is one of the few times he feels this emotion. Ino found her way to his _other_ sketch book where his most prized possessions are. That was were the drawings of his brother were. She also grabbed a pencil from him secretly. She sat on the ground, leaving Sai to try getting rid of his fear. While he was busy doing that, Ino was drawing something. Once she was done, she showed it to him.

Sai panicked for a while, then fainted.

* * *

_That was the worst thing someone could've ever done; worse than that ugly Sakura's manly punches. I mean, who would be mean enough to draw over my best work of art? _

TBC.

* * *

**Haha, if you were wondering, Ino vandalized over his drawings. You know, moustache and beard, broken teeth, and other things; I'll leave that to your imagination.**

**Anyways…yeah. Comments or suggestions? Any ideas for my new stories? Love it or hate it? Please review!**

**Thanks!**

**- kLk.**


	10. Rule 10 : ZakuKin

**A/N: Okaaayyy… so I'm going back to school tomorrow. I'm gonna be updating during my free time (and skip hw. As usual..) is that ok? Ya. So far this fic might go up to 20 chapters with all the requests. Even from reviews waaay before #10. I'M SO HAPPY THAT THIS FIC REACHED IT'S 10****TH**** CHAPTER!! Since we haven't heard of them after the chuunin exams, I might as well make up my own part of it.**

**Special thanks to the reviewers:**

_**Sai the Artistic Nin **__LOL I was full laughing wen I read ur review. And wow. I hope I could feel the same pain; I was never in a relationship so… yeah. your 2 requests are gonna be up; it's like, #s 19 & 20. I'M SO SORRY! Hope u liked the dedication!_

**And the anonymous:**

_**Hyuuga-tenten **__yah. Totally pwned! XD thanks for the review!_

**Well, enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

_Dedicated to the request of __**Ayase Reincarnated**_

_Okay! You're doing well. So, you've been lucky, huh? Reading like, 10 chapters of a book HAS been doing wonders! Was this book __**actually **__THAT good…? If you want a happy life with your loving girlfriend, keep reading to make her stay!_

**RULE # 10 : NEVER LIE; HAVE AN HONEST RELATIONSHIP**

* * *

_Apparently, this is one of the most important rules. It should be followed as you follow rule #5. I don't know why I wrote this down on the book that Konoha shinobi wrote; nonetheless, about a personal relationship. I know that the villages of Oto and Konoha are supposed to be rivals; but everyone has at least one problem in a relationship. Yup, you guessed right; I __**am **__Abumi Zaku__**,**__ one of the Oto shinobi._

Now aged 16 and ranked chuunin, clearly **this **sound ninja was already hooked up with his own teammate for already about 2 years. Ever since their business with the snake man (**ahemGAY**) Orochimaru has been over and done, they have left on their own to live a new life. And eventually, he confessed how much he cared about the long-haired girl. And she accepted.

And for some strange reason, the village of Konoha has started to send a copy of the examination videos after the invasion for each team. But remembering what happened during that time in the Forest of Death, he hid the copy from her so she wouldn't get mad. And also recalling his confession, he said "_I had __**always**__ cared for you more than anything in the world; even more than my mission. __**And I had never denied it.**_" It must be a real problem for them. At that point, he had thought that lying or fighting was the answer to everything so he hid it.

Also, his male teammate had also gotten into it because he was also the one to laugh about it as well **AND **also inform the others about their REAL goal. At least he's not the only one who gets punished. Once he got in his living room to relax and lie down on his favorite couch (yes, ninjas have furniture too.) and expected a half- awake Dosu to hog the couch and the remote putting his feet up high, he saw Kin watching something caught on tape. He somehow recognized that scene, but when he sat down and had a good look at it, his heartbeat went faster and he gasped; it was the tape from the exams!

Then he remembered; on his way to the living room, he saw his room looked clean. **Messier than usual.** Someone's been in his room. Kin must've been bored to death and looked for something that would be interesting to do and being the neat-freak she was, she cleaned up the mess and left to watch the video. And maybe Dosu figured out and hid somewhere. So he stopped thinking and maybe he could hog the remote so he could pause it but then he couldn't see it anywhere.

He heard his own voice 2 ½ years ago and looked. Then he heard other voices. And saw that it was **THE SCENE!!** _ZOMGZOMGZOMG!! DAMMIT!! –sigh- might as well blast my way outta here, _he thought. **Was **he THAT scared? Damn straight, he was! If he could just murder himself now, he would've. But he can't.

"_It's over now!" Ino exclaimed. "If you guys move an inch, I'll kill this Kin girl! If you don't want it to end here, then leave your scroll and get out of here! When I can't sense your chakra any longer, I'll let her go!"_

_Then, the two male Oto genin starts laughing._

_**Why are they laughing? **__Ino in Kin's body thought. _And in reality, Kin was getting curious thinking the same thing.

Zaku just hid behind the couch unnoticed. He also didn't know that Dosu was hiding there as well. "Get your own hiding place, dumbass!" he whispered. But it was a bit too late for that when Zaku on TV started talking.

_And without hesitation, Zaku used the air holes on his hands and blew Ino (Kin) away, knocking her on a tree and making her both their mouths bleed._

"_These guys…hurting their own comrade…" Ino mumbled, trying to regain her energy._

"_Heh, you __**are**__ confused," he smirked after informing them. _But while watching, Kin was more confused than Ino. She continued watching while the two comrades in hiding were hugging each other, hoping it would save them.

"_Our goals are not the stupid scrolls nor to safely complete the exam," the other said. "It's Sasuke-kun!"_

Then she stopped the viewing. "You can get out from behind the couch now," she said. Her face was red from anger and she faced them.

She saw everything. And it seems that the two were still hugging and now crying out of fear of their teammate. She got two of her needles from her pouch and aimed at them. Pinned to the wall, Zaku and Dosu could only hope that they survive.

_What punishment…? _She thought. Seeing that **their** time is now in her hands, she could think all day. Maybe shave their heads…? They don't care. Make them go gay…? She doesn't want a gay (no offence to them) boyfriend. Then she decided; with two training obsessed friends, maybe. Just _maybe…_ She **DOES **have the power.

After that, the two fainted. Let's just say they're… _deprived _of their talents for a couple of months.

* * *

_Just tell the truth; she'll understand. But never __**ever**__ let her find out for herself or you might get it. And maybe you'll get your other friend involved…?_

TBC.

* * *

**Just in case, if you're wondering, she put a seal on Zaku's air vents (so he can't use it) and took away Dosu's sound amplifier that thing on his arm (maybe it's removable…?) so they can't use them. Ehh my improvising is poor… :( and i got the scene from the manga chapter 55 coz i cbb to set up the dvd player :P**

**Please review! (Also say what you think of my crappy improvising skills.) and suggestions (especially for my new plot and maybe I'll make a random HS fic…?), comments, advice, requests, and any other things you may want to tell me.**

**- kLk.**


	11. Rule 11 : KimiTayu

****

A/N: okay! I'm so happy that I have 30 reviews! I hope I get more from you guys soon! And btw how come some people add me to their faves/alert list without leaving a review (especially from my new story)?! I'm sorry, but I find that a little disturbing… so that means NO REVIEW, NO UPDATE. Anywhoo thnx!

**Special thanks to the AWESOME reviewers:**

_**Ayase Reincarnated **__thank you!_

_And _

_**Dei's Artistic Angel **__dw about you giving late reviews… I don't mind. At least you drop a review! And your request will be coming so watch out!_

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

_For the request of __**Ayase Reincarnated**_

…_Sooo. Been a long time since you started, isn't it? Should be abouuuttt… 1 ½ months already?! Wow. Time sure is going by fast- wait; why am I rambling about time…? Meh, just read on._

**RULE # 11 : NEVER INVADE HER PRIVACY**

* * *

… _never thought a freak like me could fall in love, huh? Well then, watch out for the end of the world. I mean- seriously, if you want to have a relationship, it requires a lot of patience and no 'bad' name-calling. Trust me, you'll need it._

_Now, where is my drink? _The lone Kaguya wondered as he searched throughout the Sound five's home base for his 'precious' bottle of Dairy Farmers milk. For his two **logical **excuses to steal some from the nearby shops: 1) he's still a 17-year old 'growing boy' who needs his daily nutrients and 2) because he needs it for his oh-so-awesome ability.

So far, he's gone for about 5 hours searching for his dear calcium-enhancing liquid. He panicked, seeing it was not in the fridge where it was supposed to be. And it wasn't on the doorstep either; just in case some random guy delivers some milk. If you would take a look at him, it's as if he had suffered from insomnia AND dehydration. All he drinks is milk anyway. Which sane man only drinks milk?

Kaguya Kimimaro. That's who.

He also thought who the suspects could be: number 1 on the list is that fatass Jirobou. I mean- who would NOT blame him?! So he checked in his room, but only found some chips, low-fat food which don't' seem to work, dieting magazines?! And some… pictures of him and his other teammates sleeping?! No wonder he feels like he's being stalked. And little earthquakes at night… (no offense!) Who knew this guy was a stalker?

Then comes Kidoumaru; the 6 armed-spider freak. He doesn't know why, but the freak just seemed _too_ suspicious. In his room was Spiderman comics which 'shows some awesome jutsus', spider collection, and some flowers…? _Wow. Spider-freak has a soft spot for flowers? _Kimimaro thought oddly and just went out of the room.

Third is Sakon (and Ukon) because they're just as suspicious as Kidoumaru. They like experimenting anyways; maybe they needed some **milk **off him? So he went into the room. But all he saw were some chemistry sets and books (they've always been fascinated by science; ever since they met that nerd Kabuto) and some make-up and hair accessories in one hiding place you call "closet".

And so he moved on to the last _and least suspected _of them all: Tayuya. Even though she said something about "no invasion of privacy", he forgot about that now so he suspects her a teeny bit. Why? Because she was the only one left.

_Very __**logical**__, Kimimaro. You genius._

So then he goes in **her **room next, without even knocking or checking if she was there. He was too deprived of his little addiction. He opened the door slowly to find…

WTF?! TAYUYA DRESSING UP?! But of course it had to be _that_ revealing, huh? So he drooled a bit; so what? He thought, _Isn't it natural for guys my age to act this way? No need to worry then I'll just take another loo-NO KIMIMARO. YOU. ARE. LOOKING. FOR. YOUR. MILK. NOT __**THOSE-**_his thoughts were cut off by the little glimmer of light in the middle of the room where some clothes were on the floor. Then surprisingly, the redhead started humming, which is also a very un-Tayuya-ish thing to do.

_**YES.**__ Just shut up, and just hope she's too busy,_ he reminded himself. So he kept his eyes on the bottle, but his view just keeps on going to his girlfriend, who is currently trying on what Sakon gave her on her 17th. It was very… well. Wouldn't you like to know. It was even more revealing than the first one and he wonders when and where she gets them from. And why? She told him that she'd never look as slutty as that. But why did she go against her own fundamental?

He also forgot to look where he's stepping on. Which is currently a little piece of cloth we'd like to call _underwear. _You know what kind it is? It was a _veeerrrryy huge-cupped bra. Hmm… must be a D…_ Kimimaro thought pervertedly. His face was red with blush and had some blood hanging down from his nose and below. When the girl heard the shifting sound of her clothes, she turned around with her eyes filled with anger.

"SHIT! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE, YOU PERVERT?! I WAS FUCKING BUSY IN HERE, YOU KNOW?! COULDN'T A GIRL JUST GET HER OWN PRIVACY?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! FIRST THE FATASS TRIED TO GET IN HERE, THEN THE TWO DICKHEADS!" she screamed and tried covering herself up with piles of her clothes on the floor, and her blanket.

She had a little tantrum and asked, "Why the fuck are you here anyways? Aren't you supposed to be doing all these other shit?" While he was wiping the blood off himself, he didn't answer, but pointed at the shiny little bottle with white liquid. "Just for a bottle of milk? To invade my privacy… without MY permission?!" she yelled furiously. He visibly flinched from the question. Why didn't she know about his little obsession over the thing? He NEEDS it; as much as he needs her. Even though they're in a relationship, why can't they just get to know each other?

"Well, you know what that means, you voyeuristic bastard… _I FUCKING __**love **__you so much… and LOVE hurts a LOT,"_ she said in a very "sweet" manner of speaking. She took out her flute, started to play a tune, then suddenly the world just disappeared right in front of his eyes in a flash. The other 3 watched from the doorway, curious from the sound and they fell into it too. But they didn't feel as much pain as the white haired boy. He felt pain and unknowingly, Tayuya shoved the bottle up his throat while saying:

"Drink shit, asshole."

* * *

_Also, warn her about stalkers; especially if they're on your team. Let your fellow comrades follow these rules as well. Or you'll get it._

TBC.

* * *

**Ehh… was it good? SORRY IF IT WASN'T!! I'M TOO BUSY WITH ALL THIS CRAP CALLED "SCHOOL". So im sooo sorry!**

**Also, for all my stories, there is a rule: NO REVIEW, NO UPDATE.**

**Now, we want to remain safe, now do we? Unless you want to end up like our male authors in the fic. Im sorry but, I don't know what people think of it so… yeah.**

**- kLk.**


	12. Rule 12 : PeinKonan

**A/N: YO! Here's another chapter!**

**Special thanks to the AWESOME reviewers from chapter 11:**

_**Ayase Reincarnated **__YUH! TAYUYA PWNS! Poor Kimimaro…_

**And to the anonymous:**

_**Hyuuga-tenten **__THANK YOU! I didn't know it was one of the best : S_

_**Lamlam **__I'm good? Not as good as the other authors though… working my way there! Well, fainting is embarrassing especially if it's a guy; ad girls are good at humiliating people. So that's angry girl plus guy who made her angry equals guy fainting and gets embarrassed! I have time when I'm bored. :D_

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 12**

_For the request of __**Ayase Reincarnated**_

_Persistent, aren't you? You've been at it for… a long time now! Well anyways, make sure you follow the rules and know them off by heart!_

**RULE # 12 : DON'T "ACCIDENTALLY" THROW HER GIFTS**

**

* * *

_Use your brain… It's pretty obvious and "I NEED MORE SPACE FOR MY ROOM" is NOT an excuse. Why'd I throw them out in the first place if it was hers?! I. Am. A. Dumbass. Degrading, isn't it? Especially if you're the AL. Why would you care if my name is Pein?! I'll kill you if you tell them where I am._**

Pein sighed at his subordinates' stupidity. _Why did I recruit them again? _He thought as Tobi was about to 'fly' from the highest point in the lair. Then Sasori and Deidara were, yet again, fighting over the arts.

"NO, DANNA. REAL ART EXPLODES LIKE FIREWORKS; IT LOOKS AWESOME, UN!"

"DEIDARA, YOU BRAT! YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG! TRUE ART ENDURES THE AGES!"

"FIREWORKS, UN!"

"IT LASTS FOREVER, DUMBASS!"

And Hidan doing a 'holy' ceremony, decapitating his own head while Kakuzu was screaming at him.

"OH HOLY JASHIN, I BELIEVE YOU WILL SAVE ME FROM THIS PAIN! THE PAIN IS FUCKING WORTH IT!! THE PAIN FEELS SOO GOOD!"

"WHAT THE HELL, HIDAN?! YOU'RE SPILING BLOOD ALL OVER MY MONEY, DAMMIT!"

"BITCH! WHADDAYA THINK YOU'RE DOING, SHIT FACE?!"

"TAKING BACK BY FUCKING MONEY!!"

And Itachi was creepily following Kisame around with a bowl of soup.

"Come on, Kisame. A little Sharks fin soup won't hurt you. It's delicious."

"WHAT THE FUCK, ITACHI?! I AIN'T EATING SEAFOOD!!"

"It's good for you, Kisame. It's … good."

"NO WAY IN HELL!!"

And finally Zetsu who is scaring the shit out of him, holding a potted plant in his arms.

"_Soon, Petunia. We will rule the world!" – white side_

"_**And have babies!**__" – dark side_

"_And make the whole world bow down to us!"_

"_**And make babies!**__"_

"_And plants shall dominate the world!"_

"_**AND MAKE HUNDREDS AND THOUSANDS OF BABIES!!**__"_

Seriously; only Pein and Konan were the sane ones left. Bored, the leader went to his room to tidy up and maybe practice his evil laugh later. And Konan was making more origami. It looked like she was making a figurine of herself. How awesome.

He decided to inspect everyone's rooms too. Except for Zetsu's. Who knows what's waiting for him in there? In Deidara and Sasori's room were little puppets and clay figures of the Akatsuki members. That's all he saw in THEIR room.

In Hidan and Kakuzu's room, there were money bags clearly seen, Hidan's scythe, and some Jashin crap; even on his blankets!

In Kisame and Itachi's room, behind the door was a picture of Sasuke with holes and a few darts on them. There were also some visual illusion stuff everywhere. Lastly, some 'save the sharks' and 'save the whales' shirts hung everywhere. Freaks.

_My room is too messy. Needs a little clean up,_ he thought. He was always organized, the little neat freak. So he tidied up and all the junk was put in a garbage bag. He didn't really pay attention to the contents; all he needed were his blackmailing materials, some files and all that crap. He was about to get out to put his rubbish in the bin when Konan checked on his room.

"Hello," he greeted and gave a peck on the lips. Konan looked around as if she was looking for something. What was it though? Maybe he'd think about that later. She went inside fully and looked at every single corner of his room.

"What are you looking for?" he asked. "Where's that origami I made of you? I want it so I could fix it up a little bit," she replied. Pein looked around and found they weren't there. "It's not here; ask the others. Maybe they're playing dolls again," he answered. "I already checked. Where the hell are they?" she was getting impatient. Then her eyes went to the little bag of garbage.

"Gimme," Konan said childishly, hogging the bag of garbage and opening it messily. "What-hey! I just cleaned this place up a few minutes ago!" Pein argued. "SHUT UP," the woman growled, and continued ripping holes on the bag.

Tears fell from her eyes as she picked up a pile of paper. "THEN WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS, BASTARD?!" she shouted angrily while shoving the pile onto his arms. He took a look at the papers and slapped his forehead as a sign of self disappointment.

"Why'd you plan to throw them out? What. Gonna throw **me **out next?!" she asked. "No, never!" he answered. He was sweating, knowing Konan would attack him. He took a few steps back until he reached the wall. "I-I swear, I didn't know. I need more space for my room; I want it neat, y'know?" he stuttered.

"NEED MORE SPACE?! THAT IS THE SHITTIEST EXCUSE I'VE EVER HEARD!!" she yelled. Then clamed down. Pein sighed in relief as he thought that the punishment was over. The blue haired woman whistled and the Akatsuki members were standing right in front of him faster than a blink of an eye.

"Sorry to interrupt, leader. But apparently, Konan-san needs us," Kisame said politely wielding his Samehada. "And we can't just leave a woman on her own, now do we, un?" Deidara asked as he started making some explosive clay birds. "And we are gentlemen, who must treat a woman with respect," Sasori stated as he took his puppet with him.

"YES,YES!! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY TOO!" Tobi exclaimed as he invisibly smiled widely behind his mask(as if ANYONE would notice). "Wh-what?! You can't do this to me! I am the Leader!" Pein tried to order them, but they didn't hesitate. "Gomen, Leader. But right now, we'd rather get off the organization than desert a woman in need. It's not very manly; and besides, she promised us more bacon," Itachi told him dully.

"Tsukuyomi."

And that's the last thing Pein heard as he went into a painful nap. He should be thankful he's still alive.

* * *

_Note to self: Do not displease partner. You will regret it._

TBC

* * *

**EHH… TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!! **

**NO REVIEWS, NO UPDATE!! Thanks for reading. :D**

**- kLk.**


	13. Rule 13 : GenmaShizu

**A/N: hi! Btw also try reading my other stories AND review. Especially if you enjoy reading my fics. :D**

**Special thanks to the reviews in the last chapter:**

_**Ayase Reincarnated **__yeah; I thought since they ARE __**THE **__Akatsuki, i decided to write them actually agreeing on 1 thing._

_**Dei's Artistic Angel **__Yup; the Akatsuki IS pretty funny especially in the world of fanfiction. I love them!_

**And the anonymous:**

_**Forever-itachi **__yay them! They are awesome! Thanks!_

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 13  
**_for the request of **hyuuga-tenten**_

_Greetings! Isn't this a nice day to read a book! Aa, I'll skip the gibberish and just go straight to the point._

**RULE # 13 : DON'T UNDERESTIMATE HER POWER**

_NEVER insult her. Or any other females. Might be real hard. Might. They are all beautiful and strong-willed. Especially if she is a kunoichi AND Tsunade's apprentice. Aa, you guessed right; Shiranui Genma speaking._

Bored, as usual. Chewing on the senbon in his mouth, Genma was wandering around the town on his day off. He was about to have a little sparring session with his girlfriend, Shizune. What she admired about her most was her smile and devotion to the Leaf and serving the Godaime. He always liked women who was dedicated to serving and fighting for her country.

He greeted the people that passed by him and while the needle was in his mouth, it pierced his tongue. To him, he believed that something bad was going to happen whenever THAT occurred. But it seemed like a fine, peaceful day. He even wanted to go to the hot springs after the sparring match.

So he headed to the training field to see that the sakura flowers were blooming and everything looked fine. Why today? And he knows his senbon is ALWAYS right when it comes to this. He heard Shizune's voice calling his name so he went in the field.

They met up at a training field and before he could initiate, he noticed the woman's change in appearance; she wore a shorter dark blue dress. Much like her usual one, but different in length and color. But she still had the bandages over her legs and her hair was left the same.

"Shizune, why the sudden change of clothes? Any special occasion?" he asked. "Iie, nothing at all. Kurenai-san just told me to wear it today; she gave it to me," she answered innocently. "But forget about that; let's just spar," she smiled and got into her stance.

They started off with some close range combat and throwing some weapons in the air. After a few minutes, the woman was sitting on the ground panting. The male jounin(yes, I made them jounin) smirked and helped her get up.

"Maybe you should've worn your usual clothes. Did you bring your needle launcher today?" he frowned as he handed her a bottle of water. "A ninja must be prepared and can battle in any clothing, remember? And yes. I wanted to practice my taijutsu today," she replied after gulping down some water.

"Well, you need to practice more. And without using your needle launcher, you're weaker aren't you?" he commented on how she fought. In a BAD way. Sure, she wasn't as good as Gai or Lee at taijutsu, but insult her? NO.

"EH?! AND WHO ARE **YOU **TO SUDDENLY INSULT ME LIKE THAT?!" she angrily screamed. He knew he was honest; but he was just TOO honest. "And now you're getting too loud. What now? I'm just trying to tell you that you need more practice," he said dryly.

"I thought you like me being honest; and it's true. Don't deny it, Shizu-chan," he stated, still keeping his face blank. "Yes, but not enough to insult me just like that!" she yelled while tears burst out of her eyes.

"You won't even apologize for that!" she cried some more as more anger built up inside her. If he was gonna make another offensive comment, she'll be kicking some ass as soon as he says it.

"See? You're crying; isn't that a ninja's sign of weakness?" he said as he continued chewing on his senbon. "I guess I'm done here; don't forget about tonight," he waved as he turned around.

Before he could take another step, she pulled her sleeve and pulled on the strings to her needle launcher. She aimed and fired at him as she watched the poisoned senbon prick his back.

He truned around. "See, THAT is what we call not showing weakness," he dully told her and smirked.

"WEAK MY ASS, SEXIST!" that was the last thing he heard after Shizune grabbed the sendbon and shoved it in his mouth.

He was lucky; she still loves him and let him live after that.

* * *

_It felt like swallowing a million fish bones all at once. Also, being sexist is bad for your health._

TBC

* * *

**Was it good? I was rushing to write it and couldn't think of anything. I NEED IDEAS. And no more requests I guess. The previous requests will be fulfilled; this fic will only reach to 20 chapters so yeah. Sorry to those who want to send in more requests… check out my other stories and thanks for reading! NO REVIEWS NO UPDATE!**

**- kLk.**


	14. Rule 14 : ItaTema

**A/N: Yo. Sorry I didn't update for a week… : ( got a bit too bored and re-obsessed with RPG XD but I'm going to stop now… STORIES : MORE IMPORTANT!!**

**Special thanks to reviewers from chapter 14:**

_**Dei's Artistic Angel **__thank you!!_

_**-Bellita-chan- **__YEAH!! I swear to PWN sexists. ._

**And the anonymous:**

_**Lamlam **__I think I already explained this to you .._

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 14**

_For __**Hyuuga-tenten**__'s request_

_... Yo. . hello again! Uhh… here._

**RULE # 14 : TRY TO FIND TIME TO SPEND WITH HER**

* * *

_Always follow this rule. If you don't have time, you're fucked up to even think about having a relationship. It's serious business, dammit! Especially if you're in an organization filled with S-ranked missing nins planning to dominate the world… And planning to kill your brother too. Guess who this is- What? How'd you guess so quick- Oh, Riiight… Uchiha Itachi._

"So, Itachi-san… How're you and Temari doing?" asked the blue man tending to his Samehada. "…Okay, I guess. Hiding it from the villages and all that is a bit hard though. And she's coming over right now, isn't she…?" Itachi stated, still keeping his face as usual.

"…Yeah," Kisame replied. "Why?" weasel-san asked. "Well, I don't know! How should I know what's been going on in your 'intimate' relationship?" Kisame ranted as he went out the door. "But aren't we busy today?" Itachi asked once again. "I am. You aren't. Good luck with dat," the shark-like man shouted from the other side of the wall. "YES I AM, DAMMIT!" Itachi yelled back.

Indeed, they were all busy. Planning to rule the world was a hard job. Even if you've got the best criminals on your side. But they were only 10 of them now. All of them just had another 'Damn You, Orochimaru' party just the previous week which was one of the Akatsuki's biggest parties on their own. Well, next to the Akatsuki Anniversary.

And yes, people such like Itachi clean up too. But today, it's Monday; aka Day of plotting in the Akatsuki. So putting the problem aside, he started concentrating on his work.

* * *

Then suddenly, in the Akatsuki's 'living room' (if they have one…), a gust of wind appeared. Sabaku no Temari. Tobi, in surprise, screamed like a little girl and ran in circles. But it took a while for him to stop and look who's here, while the others watched his action of idiocy. Looking in the direction of the female Suna jounin, he ran to her and glomped her.

"OOH! Temari-chan! Tobi is very glad you could make it! How are you?" Tobi let go of her as soon as he saw her turn blue. "I-I'm fine. I'm uh.. glad to get here too," Temari replied as she brushed off some imaginary dust off herself.

Then, all the male Akatsuki members (except Itachi) started to pamper her and put some entertainment while Konan made some tea and snacks for everyone. "Temari, how was our little role-play? We planned it, just in case," Kakuzu politely asked as they finished their performance.

"It's fine," Temari answered as she fixed her hair. "Wow, Temari-chan! You're really pretty with your hair down!" Tobi exclaimed as she put her hair back up and blushed. "Tobi call Itachi-sempai now, yes?" Tobi questioned the 18 year old as he got up. "Well-"Temari was cut off.

"ITACHI-SEMPAAAAAIIIII!! ISN'T IT RUDE TO NOT BE HERE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND?!" Tobi yelled annoyingly. In embarrassment, Temari blushed hard as she looked down at the floor. "What?" Itachi asked with an extremely disturbed face. "I'm sorry, Temari. But I'm busy today. Why don't you come by next time or maybe go with the others?" Itachi asked as he turned back again.

"What the fuck, Itachi?! Why would you NOT spend time with her, huh?! After all the shit she went through just to fucking get here…" Hidan swore as he grabbed the Uchiha's collar. "N-No, really. It's okay; I understand. Thanks anyways," Temari said sadly.

"You're even lucky to have an awesome girlfriend, un!" Deidara honestly declared. "Why'd you even hook up when you hardly spend time with her?" Sasori frowned. "Well, I've been busy lately-" Itachi was not able to continue his sentence.

"Well then. For Temari-chan, I declare a week off for everybody," Pein announced. Temari smiled at this and gave Itachi a hug. "Now, we can have time together!" she cheerily said. "W-well, what about training?" Itachi stuttered. "Well, we can always train together, right?" she answered back.

"Sasuke-voodoo?"

"I'll help."

"Time for angst and emo-ness?"

"I'll even go emo with you."

"Nail polishing?"

"I'll do it for you."

"Missions?"

"I'll go with you AND Kisame."

"Shopping?"

"I need to do that anyway."

"Modelling career?"

"I didn't know you did that but, I'll watch you."

"ME time?" Itachi smirked at this.

"Yeah- NO." Temari got a bit angry at this. Her free time, wasted? No way she's gonna let that happen. "What can I do just to have some time with you?!" the blonde girl asked with tears in her eyes. Itachi never had a girl crying. Except Konan; but that was because of Pein and it was always solved. Sasuke was too easy; just give him a tomato or his little tomato plushie, Tommy. And since he was new to this relationship stuff, he's hopeless.

"Nothing. Now, let me go," Itachi said coldly. Temari pulled him back and pulled on his hair as he tried scurrying off to his room. "You said you'd let me have some ME time," the Uchiha whispered innocently in her ear. "I take it baaaack!" she childishly ranted.

"Look here, Uchiha," Temari called as her eyes were looking at the floor. Itachi stayed still, but still had his back facing her. "I SAID, LOOK AT ME, BASTARD!" Temari screamed. Twitching, Itachi turned to look at her in the eye, which was scary.

"Okay. I had to knock out my two little brothers and say I'm on vacation so this is my only time off for half the year. I was thankful that Shukaku didn't even awaken. IT WAS A FUCKING RISK! And everyone was suspicious. Do you want ALL of us to die?!" Itachi shook his head. "And do you know how annoying those two are?! Being the head of Suna, Gaara got pissed easily. And don't even get me started at Kankuro… Gawd, he's always drunk!" Temari put her arms in the air. "So you deserve…"

Not being aware, Itachi got hit by Temari's numerous jutsu.

"WOW, TEMARI-CHAN, THAT WAS SOOO-"

"FUCK OFF, TOBI YOU SHITHEAD. BEFORE WE GET FUCKING FRIED."

"O-Okay."

"…that."

* * *

_So much for my title as the 'Almighty Uchiha Itachi'… Feared. Riiiight._

TBC

* * *

**Sorry. I'm a bit off… STUPID SCHOOL. And I lost my list of request (yes, it's on paper). And this fic will only last up to 20. Enjoy it while it lasts.**

**NO REVIEWS NO UPDATEEES!!**

**- kLk.**


	15. Rule 15 : SasuTen

**A/N: Hi! SCHOOL IS SO ANNOYING. When you finish an assignment, they give you TWO or more. **

**Special thanks to reviewers from chapter 14:**

_**Ayase Reincarnated **alright... they're coming soon though._

_**-Bellita-chan-** yup, i remember them!_

_**Dei's Artistic Angel **yeah, i know. but i put it in randomly : S_

**And the anonymous:**

_**forever-itachi **no prob. IAY too _

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 15**

_Dedicated to __**hyuuga-tenten**_

_... hi. :D uhh… pie. X3 just kidding. Just trust me on this:_

**RULE # 15: DON'T DENY THAT YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER.**

* * *

_This rule is a bit hard for a person like me. But don't ever do it. Ever. Never be embarrassed that you love her. What relationship is it when you're not supporting your own relationship? – Uchiha Sasuke._

"Tenten, is it true that you're going out with Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked, fists clenched.

**Why, that little- CUT HER TO PIECES! SHANNARO! **

_Not now; when they get married! _

**THEY BETTER NOT! THAT BITCH!**

"W-well, yeah," Tenten whispered while blushing madly and turning away. "I-I'm very h-happy for you, Tenten-san," Hinata said giving her a smile. "Tenten! How DO you do that?" Ino asked suspiciously.

"Do what?" Tenten asked innocently.

"You know, keeping Sasuke-kun to yourself. You said it yourself; you're an ordinary girl!" Ino gave a face that MIGHT convince you.

"Yes, I did. But I didn't really do anything to get anyone's attention!" the weapons mistress waved her arms.

"Stop being modest, Tenten-chan!" Sakura teased. _Come on! I wanna hear how you do it! _Sakura thought excitedly.

"Well, why don't ya ask him?" she suggested.

* * *

_**At team 7's training field…**_

Sasuke just finished his training and had some time to meditate, maybe? So he sat under the tree. Feeling relaxed, he found his happy place. Killing Itachi and Orochimaru, getting married to his girlfriend Tenten, a world without fangirls AND fanboys, and reviving his clan. :D

It was like heaven, for now.

Everything was peaceful until…

"SASUKE-KUUUUUUUNNNNN!!"

_Damn. They found me, _Sasuke thought to himself, getting up. Just when he was finding his peacefulness, these two annoying girls come barging in, screaming at you to confirm a stupid rumor. And he thought the field was relaxing… TRY THE HOT SPRINGS, SASUKE!

"IS IT TRUE THAT YOU'RE DATING TENTEN-SAN?!" Sakura asked angrily.

"…I'm leaving," Sasuke said, not turning to face them. Even a millisecond with them annoyed him a lot, so he decides to leave.

"WAIT!" Ino pointed and pulled his arm. "Not until you answer the question," she added. As the gossip queen of Konoha, she knows who's dating who, or what's happening. She just HAS to know. Especially if the secret seemed totally impossible for the person.

"It's none of your business," he stated stoically. "OH HOHOHO! It IS true!!" Ino gave a triumphant smirk at the 'confirmed' rumor. Being taken, she didn't like Sasuke anymore. Though she still thinks he's 'hawt'.

"Why?!" Sakura stomped her feet on the ground hard, tears in her eyes. She was VERY angry when she heard this rumor spreading in Konoha. She STILL loves the Uchiha. After all those years…

"I didn't say it was true!" the Uchiha shouted. "Well, how are you going to revive your clan?" they asked. "Going gay, are you Sasu-chan?" Ino smugly asked.

"It's not true, nor am I gay. Get out of my sight," he warned them. "Aw, come on, Sasuke. It's just a minute for a couple questions; that's all," Ino asked rudely.

"…fine. About dating, I'm not dating anyone," he said with a straight face. _YES, HE'S STILL SINGLE! CHA! _Inner Sakura cheered.

"Okay-hey wait a sec. Didn't Tenten herself say that it was true?" Sakura said out loud. "And she'd never lie to us, now would she?" Ino added.

"And Sasuke-kun COULD lie to us… he loves us so much that he doesn't wanna hurt our feelings! Ne, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura was being too fangirl-ish at the moment.

"No, I don't love you. I hate you more than I hate Naruto, that retard. What the fuck are you going on about?" he confessed. In a really scary way.

"OH MY GOD! YOU **ARE **GAY!! FOR NARUTO!" Ino yelled. _Not that I mind some-_

"-AM NOT!" Sasuke suddenly interrupted her thoughts. Having a high status in the village, he was NOT supposed to be gay. Most of all, with the village idiot. That's disgusting.

"But no, I am not seeing anyone," he said, taking a few steps.

Suddenly, a flurry of weapons came his way. As suspected, he dodged them all and from the trees, Tenten came out of it.

"Then doesn't this..." then grabbed his hair and kissed him passionately for a few seconds, which he responded to. "… mean ANYTHING to you at all?!" she yelled.

"I-I, err… YES!" he screamed while Ino takes some notes down into her 'gossip book' and Sakura was shedding tears.

"I'm really sorry, Sakura. But if ever I break up with him you can take him," she whispered. The pink haired girl just nodded and exited the site.

"And?" the brunette asked forcefully. "…yes, Yamanaka. We ARE dating…" the onyx eyed boy sighed as he finally confirmed the news.

"Good! Now all you have to go through now is me and my weapons, and…" she pointed to the bushes.

"IMMA KILL YOU, UCHIHA! RAAAAAA!!"

"YOSHH!! PROTECT THE TEAM'S YOUTHFUL FLOWER!"

"HAI, SENSEI!! YOOOOOUUUUUUTHHHH!!"

Out came the infamous team Gai. And…

"Oh, don't mind us, teme. We're only here for the show, dattebayo! You better lose! I'm betting my week's supply of ramen for this!" Naruto exclaimed while holding his ticket. Along with all the senseis, the rest of rookie 9, the sand siblings, the Hokage…

"Ahaha. Sorry 'bout this. We heard from a very reliable source that-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, INUZUKA!"

"GAWD, SO-RRY!!"

"OH, there was a show?" Tenten cluelessly asked. The crowd just shushed. On with the Sasuke-bashing, team Gai!

And so at the end of the day, Sasuke finally found peace… in a hospital ward. Not so long until Sakura came to nurse him back to health.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun, I can finally be friends with you again!"

"NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!"

* * *

_And also make sure that she's not AS close to anyone who could torture you._

TBC

* * *

**I WAS STALLING! XD**

**You know what to do.**

**- kLk.**


	16. Rule 16 : GaaHina

**A/N: I hate not updating. Too much homework, dammit. And I feel sick… I finished this at home. I was absent… **

**Special thanks to the reviewers:**

_**Dei's Artistic Angel **__yup. It's good when guys get pwned. XD_

_**-Bellita-chan- **__was it really that funny? AWESOME !_

**And the anonymous:**

_**Forever-itachi **__HELL YEAH! :D_

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 16**

_As requested by __**Dayylie **__and __**–Bellita-chan-**__'s idea_

_Just a feeewwww more 'till the end of this one. Keep on reading. :D_

**RULE # 16 : NEVER ****EVER ****STEAL YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S EYELINER**

* * *

… _as undignified as this sounds, for your sake, just follow the damn rule. Who cares if 'what you have is hers and what she has is yours' ?! THAT IS A LOT OF BULLSHIT. Even as Sabaku no Gaara, the fifth Kazekage, I STILL need my eyeliner._

"Fuck, I'm all out of eyeliner," Gaara was digging through his desk in his office. He was, yet again, running out of eyeliner. "TEMARI!" he yelled, sitting back on his chair.

_Damn Kazekage. He's still an annoying brat, _Temari thought grumpily while entering the office. "Do you want anything, _Kazekage-sama_?" she faked a smile. "Eyeliner, please," he demanded **politely.** "Eh?! I'm out on that today, too!" she angrily said and walked out saying "How about Kankuro?"

_Hmm, maybe she figured out. That all these years, I've been taking her eyeliner, _he thought. He demanded for his older brother to come in. "WHAT NOW, YOU BRAT?!" he was pretty pissed for his little brother interrupting business. Meaning, flirting with random girls all over the village. So much for his rep…

Gaara just glared at him. Which means he has his killer mode partially on. Kankuro looked a bit scared. "I-I mean, would you like anything, Kazekage-sama?" he was cowering. "I know you stole Temari's eyeliner," he lied. "It wasn't me, honest! It was most of the makeup, but not the eyeliner! Don't tell…" the puppet master was on his knees, begging.

"Buy me some eyeliner," the redhead ordered. Then suddenly, a random guy entered the room. "I'm sorry to interrupt, Kazekage-sama. But apparently, the village's stock for all the eyeliner has all been run out of stock," the guy reported. Feeling a dark aura, the guy left without a word. That means, next orders come in about a week. To Gaara, this was a very long time to wait for his precious eyeliner.

"Stupid people… buying all my eyeliner," he growled angrily. "Well, look at the bright side! There's still mascara," Kankuro laughed nervously.

"No. I hate mascara," the other replied.

"Why not?"

"… it sucks."

"Then ask the research team to make the eyeliner if you're THAT desperate."

"I order YOU to do that for your awesome Kazekage."

"What? But it was just an idea! And I'm-"

"Yes, you're **busy serving your powerful Kazekage **who will confiscate your puppets and makeup if you don't. Right?"

"FINE," Kankuro sighed. _He is SO stubborn. What a brat, _he thought badly.

"Great," Gaara was 'happy' hearing his brother's answer. A few minutes later, the older boy arrived, panting heavily. "They said… they ran out of ingredients," then he fainted on the carpet. "I just got that!" Gaara angrily exclaimed. Then he shoved Kankuro's body out the door and sat back on his desk. Then he thought of something.

_Isn't Hinata here? Sleeping right now?_

_**Yes, she is.**_

_She's a girl-no. __**Woman**__, right?_

_**Yeah.**_

_With makeup-_

_**And **__**eyeliner**__**.**_

_Well, since she moved in, I own what she owns and vice versa._

_**And you're free to take it. Especially if you're Kazekage. You can do whatever you want.**_

_It's settled then._

* * *

He crept to his room, where the Hyuuga heiress slept. _She looks beautiful when she's sleeping, _he thought dreamily. Of course, jinchuurikis and leaders have feelings too, right? He opened the drawer silently and turned the lamp on.

He slowly reached into the drawer and dug in it. "Makeup drawer. Lipstick, no. Mascara, EW. Blush, no," he whispered to himself. This went on for 5 minutes until he finally found what he was looking for: the eyeliner.

"YEHS!" he whispered to himself again. He slowly pulled it out until…

A half-awake Hinata's hand grabbed his. Eyes widened, he was shocked. "Wh-what are you doing, going through all of my things, Gaara-kun?" she silently asked. He thought she was awake, but she was dreaming. What a coincidence…

"Uhh… I needed something?" he nervously choked out. "What was it then?" Hinata asked. She sounded so scary, that someone normal would pee in his pants. Except, Gaara was only a LITTLE scared. Not enough to piss in his pants.

"Eyeliner," he replied. He still had the object in hand, and his fear has gone up a bit. "I-I swear, I could explain-" he was cut off by the girl yelling at him. "I don't care if you needed it badly, okay!"

He remained silent after that. Then she started to speak again. "I've had enough of this; I won't forgive you and… I'm leaving," she stated coldly and remained lying on the bed. "WHAT?! NOO!" he screamed.

"What's going on here?" Temari suddenly came along with Kankuro. "Well?" she asked while looking at the couple. "I'm leaving, Temari-san," Hinata simply said. "Why? Did Gaara do something? Did he get you pregnant? WHAT IS IT?!" she was getting TOO curious.

"He was going through my stuff," she whispered. "What? Just for your stupid eyeliner?! Even I won't do that," Kankuro commented.

"Uh, yeah. You would," Temari argued. "Damn, I was hoping you wouldn't say that," Kankuro swore.

"Ow! What the fuck?" Gaara was in pain. He was… kicked in the 'area' by a still-asleep Hinata. "You deserve it," she said confidently without a stutter.

"Owwww… Kankuro," he called out. "What now?" the brunette growled. "Get me some ice," he commanded.

"And Temari," he said. "Yes?" she was hoping they wouldn't be involved. "Get me my teddy," he choked out until he fell to the floor.

* * *

_I was lucky I didn't get punished as worse as the others. And they didn't have a teddy to make the pain go away. ;D_

TBC

* * *

**That was very… bad, wasn't it? I think I'm cutting out the 1****st**** part for a while if I couldn't think of anything…**

**You know what to do.**

**- kLk.**

* * *


	17. Rule 17 : SasuSaku

**A/N: hello! I'd probably have more time updating my fics and STILL looking for more ideas. I found another one, but it will take me about a month until I submit it.**

**Special thanks to reviewers from chapter 16:**

_**-Bellita-chan- **__of course; why leave Gaara's cute bear behind?_

**And the anonymous:**

_**Forever-itachi **__well, you'll see what pairings are coming. There are 4 chapters left, I think. And a final chapter. (IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A SURPRISE AND DEDICATED TO ALL MY REVIEWERS)_

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 17**

_Just some information about girls in relationships … they CRAVE attention from their boyfriends. Just saying._

**RULE # 17 : PAY ATTENTION**

* * *

… _yeah. and if you don't understand, never ignore her. You might have ignored her in the past; but that was when you were both __**single**__. But now, it's all different so FOLLOW THE FRIGGIN RULE._

Haruno Sakura was so bored out of her mind today. It was a day-off, no missions or working at the hospital. But also, most of the people she knew were out on missions, and all that. She felt a bit too lazy today, lying down on her bed staring at her blank ceiling and looking around her room.

"OH gawd, this is the boring-est day everrrr!!" she screamed childishly. Yes, fifteen year olds also have little childish tantrums about being easily bored. "Too bad I couldn't piss miss piggy off…" and realizing her words rhymed, she giggled like a five year old.

_Even Naruto is busy to ask me out and be turned down again, _she thought grimly. And she was sorta out of money. She just went shopping the other day so…

All she thought of was her oh-so-perfect boyfriend. She blushed, thinking happily that her 'fairytale' has happened and came out of a story book. _That's right! I could go to Sasuke-kun! Maybe bring him some tomatoes as well, _she reminded herself. Fortunately, she had just bought a basket of tomatoes the previous day, which were left untouched.

She dressed up decently, meaning in her usual outfit but with a pink top. Grabbing the basket full of tomatoes, she finally headed out the door. She could just imagine what he'd say after she brings him the treat. And again, inner Sakura was thinking VERY naughtily.

"_OH Sakura," h breathed on her neck._

"_Sasuke-kun, not over THERE," she ranted._

_You could see them making out passionately, falling to the ground dramatically._

_And the Uchiha was about to rip her shirt into shreds… and reaching into it touching her-_

Shaking her head, she tried keeping those thoughts for later.

* * *

_**At the training field with Sasuke…**_

Punch.

Uchiha Sasuke was training very hard today. Even though he seems to have no emotion on the outside, he could have a very happy chibi Sasuke inside. Training had benefits, though it IS tiring. You could gain a lot of skill, it's to keep fit, maybe master, create or practice your jutsus, keep you distracted and make you happy.

_If only training could last forever… _Sasuke thought dreamily, chucking a dozen of kunai at the training dummy. What a freak…

"SASUKE-KUUUUNNN!!"

_But then again, we can't live forever, _he sighed, still continuing his training session.

"Sasuke-kun! I bought you some tomatoes! They're really fresh and ripe! Don't they look so shiny?!" she gave him a hug and presented the basket, putting it right in his face.

"Sakura, I can't see," he said as he pushed the basket gently out of his way. "Sorry. As I was saying, I thought maybe we could have lunch together?" she hopefully asked, running after him.

He walked in a different direction, trying not to be distracted. He was planning a 15 hour training session- straight. No interruptions, no breaks. It's to 'test his endurance skills'. Still trying to concentrate, the pink haired medic was still speaking.

"And if you want a picnic, I'll quickly get some more food; some onigiri and dango would do, right?" she asked, being persistent. And all Sasuke could do at the moment was ignore her and keep training.

"I'll take that as a yes," she sighed heavily. He thought she was about to leave for more food, but she stayed in the same spot.

All you could hear was the sound of weapons being thrown onto different surfaces. The wind blew stronger and Sakura decided to play with him a bit.

"Sasuke-kun, I'm cold," she held onto his body tightly and wrapped his arms around herself. He let go of her and grabbed another shuriken, throwing it at his target. Of course, he couldn't do close range taijutsu training with HER around, waiting to get hurt.

"Is there anything wrong?" she asked with a worried look in her eyes. He didn't respond and she thought there WAS something wrong. "Tell me," she said, standing right in front of him.

Still ignoring her, he walked to another direction. She followed him anyway. "Is it me? Or are you sick?" she was getting more concerned by each second passing.

"Was Naruto annoying you again? Did he do something embarrassing to you? Did he take Tommy the tomato again?" he twitched at the mentioning of his beloved childhood plushie.

Still ignoring her, he noticed that she was silently crying to herself. He didn't know what she was thinking; her being unpredictable and all…

_Doesn't he love me anymore?_

_**Well, you should really teach him a lesson you know!!**_

_But, I think he's busy; maybe now is just… not the right time for me to barge in so rudely…_

_**YOU HAVE THE RIGHT. YOU GOTTA BE CONFIDENT, Y'KNOW?**_

_Y-yeah, right. Confident._

She turned to face him, still looking lost.

_**And you gotta deal with the problem too! Would you want him to break up with you?**_

_N-no…_

"Umm…" she fumbled with her skirt.

_**Ya wanna get married and revive his clan, RIGHT?!**_

_Y-yeah._

Using the confidence, it came back little by little.

_**Well, you gotta stick up for yourself!**_

_I… you're right._

"S-Sasuke-kun…" having her tears drying up slowly, she silently thanked her inner self.

_**NOW GO KICK HIS SORRY ASS, SHANNARO!!**_

**SLAP.**

"You know, it's not very polite to ignore a lady," Sakura warned while her right foot continuously tapped on the ground impatiently.

Sasuke remained silent, touching his stinging left cheek. "What the hell did you do that for?" he asked dumbly.

**PUNCH.**

"IDIOT, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!" she screamed while he flew 10 meters away from where he stood.

"What do you mean?" he scoffed. He couldn't tell her inner self was slowly taking over her; the more he throws at her, the more she gets taken over.

"You weren't paying attention! I don't even know if you were listening to every single word I said!" she cried out.

"Of course I was listening!" he lied. "Oh, did you now?" she asked, being sarcastic.

"Yes! The tomatoes," that was all he paid attention to. And she DID shove a basket full of them in his face. "You can stop smiling now, **darling**," she choked out the last part, disgusted. She knew if he was smiling non-stop, there would be something wrong, or he was lying.

"You're lying," she simply concluded, glaring at him. "… So what if I am. Big deal," he confessed. "It IS a big deal!" she retorted. "And? You've been ignored by me before, haven't you?" he said coldly. "But that was when we weren't together!" she answered back.

"Well, I'm training, if you don't mind!" he grunted. "So? You haven't been seeing me lately," she was being taken over faster. "You can train later. Let's go, or else." She started tugging on his sleeve.

"Can't you see I'm busy training? Unless you want someone to invade Konoha and succeed," he said taking her hand off his shirt.

"Well, just SHUT UP AND LET'S GO!" she yelled. Sasuke paled at her volume. He finally realized.

"NO!" he yelled back childishly, pulling himself out of her grasp. "Let go!"

"Come on!" she said pulling him harder. Being impatient, she got furious over this 'little' matter.

"UGH! THAT IS IT!! YOU'RE COMING WITH ME. WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!"

And the last thing Sasuke saw was a fist coming right at his pretty face.

* * *

"Hey, Naruto. Can you look after Sasuke-kun for a while? I gotta go to the Hokage's office," Sakura asked.

"Sure! Anything for you, Sakura-chan! Even if it means sitting here in a boring ward with an annoying jerk like Sasuke-teme, dattebayo!" he cheerfully responded.

Sakura gave a smile to Naruto as thanks and said "Get well soon, Sasuke-kun!"

After she closed the door, the blonde laughed his ass off at his rival. "HAHAHA, SASUKE-TEME, YOU LOSER! YOU JUST GOT PWNED BY A PINK HAIRED GIRLY-GIRL!!"

Grunting, Naruto patted his back pitifully. "Don't worry teme; I've been dealing it all my life, yet I'm still alive. Isn't that a miracle? You'll survive," he said.

* * *

_At least I'm not the only one; go find a friend who's experienced this kind of thing._

TBC

* * *

**That was a bit… yeah. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Whoever gets a review shall get a virtual bowl of ramen; any ****flavor****!**

**Thanks for reading!**

**- kLk.**


	18. Rule 18 : MinaKushi

**A/N: Enjoying the holidays ! XD Sorry i haven't been updating for a while...**

**Special thanks to the reviewers from chapter 17 :**

_**-Bellita-chan- **__yes. Even friendship between rivals is possible; if you've got the same experience. Thanks for the review!_

_**Rohain Tahquil **__I find it funny when Sasuke or someone like him gets pwned. Glad you do too. :D_

**Enjoy!**

* * *

****

**Chapter 18**

_as requested by __**Shinn Asuka – Blackest Angel**_

_A VERY long time before the series started …_

**RULE # 18 : IF YOU LIKE HER, NEVER PRANK HER**

* * *

_Long, long ago… No. I'm not THAT old; I'm in the 30-40's year range. When I was young (which was ONLY 2 decades before the series started) I was a prankster, of course. And I liked this girl, and her name was Kushina. So what do young pranksters do when they want attention from the girl they love? You know what._

"… and we will be staying here for a while; since the mission is complete. The client offered us free accommodation, and we-err… I accepted the offer! Not very nice to turn down a lady's offer! But you brats should spend your own pocket money, get it?"

"Hai, Jiraiya-sensei," answered the teens. One of them was the very familiar looking boy, as we all know as the Yondaime Hokage in his teenage years. After the announcement, his two teammates dashed away to go strolling around the Whirlpool country.

* * *

Being bored, he decided to maybe play some pranks on some innocent villagers. He slipped a tiny lizard he found on a ground in the back of a random guys shirt. He walked away and had his back behind the man and pretended to browse the items on sale to avoid suspicions.

A few seconds later, he heard a screech and found that the people were laughing at the man now on the ground who looked like he was dancing.

Sniggering to himself, he walked off to some random stall. "Good afternoon, see anything you like?" asked a melodious voice coming from the stall owner. He looked up and saw the (in his opinion) most beautiful girl he's ever seen.

"Nah, just looking around. But I'll tell ya when I see one," he grinned. "What's your name? You a kunoichi?"

"Uzumaki Kushina. Yes, I am. I'm a chuunin, actually," she smiled. "What's yours?"

"I'm Namikaze Minato, also a chuunin. I'm gonna be hokage soon!" she giggled.

"Wanna take a walk?" he asked. "No, sorry. I gotta watch my mom's stall," she replied. "Huh, well, that's okay. I'll go annoy my sensei, if you don't mind," he walked off as she laughed at his words.

* * *

"Meh, forget about that pervert. Can't be bothered to find him; probably peeking," he mumbled. Maybe a few more pranks won't hurt to pass the time.

_Didn't he say that if you liked someone, do what you do best to her or something? _He thought. Maybe doing something to her stall can change her mind. He laughed evilly.

He hid with the shadows to check if anyone was watching the stalls. _Good, no one's there, _he said to himself. Another good pat on the back for him.

After a minute of setting up the prank, he waited. And waited. And waited. Getting tired of waiting, he also put some itching powder on an innocent bystander.

"eL Oh eL! Look at the guy! He looks like a monkey!"

He laughed at the guy when suddenly…

"I TOTALLY saw that, Minato."

Uzumaki Kushina was hanging upside down a tree beside her stall where you can see her underwear. And her face flushed and covered with her long hair.

"What did I do?" he asked as he got her down.

"You put-" he put his hand to her mouth. "Shush!"

BITE.

"OW! What the fuck?!"

"As I was saying, you PUT ITCHING POWDER ON HIM!" she LOUDLY said.

"Shushhhhhh!!"

"And I suspect you were responsible for me hanging upside down in a town full of perverts? And perverted visitors?" she narrowed her eyes.

"So what? A guy can't have fun?" he smirked.

"And I thought you WERE cute AND maybe I could date you someday if we knew each other more. But you're just sad," she glared at the blonde.

"But!! I swear! It wasn't meant for you! It was… for the… aw crap! Back me up here, you perverted sensei!" he gestured towards the white haired man who was behind him all along. (ghasp!)

"No can do. This is your own problem. Maybe I'll write about this! Hehe, thanks a lot, kid!" he whispered.

"Jiraiya, you suck."

"Not as much as you do."

Jiraiya walked a few feet away to watch his student 'solve his own problem'.

"Your sensei is right. You suck. And I won't ever talk to you again!" the girl said, walking off after she fed him her shoe. And got him to chew on it. "That's your last memory of me, so chew and swallow."

Watching her walk off, he tried saying something which turned out to sound like…

"BUFF I RIKE CHOO TOO, YOU SHEKSHI SHANG!" which meant he liked her too.

"And kid, another advice."

"Whatch, shenshei?" –what, sensei? -

"Never follow my advice."

"Shanksh for jatch." - Thanks for that. –

Then, he got in trouble with the villagers. All thanks to that beautiful girl.

* * *

_The only good advice Jiraiya can give you is not to follow his sense of guidance. She lied; eventually, she started talking again and... you know what happens next._

TBC

* * *

**This chapter is a little bit off, so PLEASE spare me of bad comments… I am on a vacation from school, so please. **

**I also lost the list of requests AGAGIN, so I don't exactly know the order of them. I hope at least ANY of you people liked it. **

**If anyone would want me to make a SasuSaku oneshot, tell me in a review. I need at least 5 reviews. And check my profile if you want me to make any of my ideas for fics ASAP. At least 5 people to tell me to make that certain story. **

**- kLk.**


	19. Rule 19 : ShikaTayu

**A/N: hi people . it just KILLS to have such a short break . WE NEED A MONTH, DAMMIT !**

**Special thanks to the reviewers from chapter 18 :**

_**Shinn Asuka – Blackest Angel **__I am SO sorry . that was bad " didn't really do a lot of 'research' . here's your ShikaTayu ! your SasuKarin will (fortunately) make it in a few…_

_**-Bellita-chan- **__oh yes… the shoe chewing . :D_

_**Rohain Tahquil **__thanks . I think Naruto got EVERYTHING from Minato, mostly . the show definitely needs more MinaKushi !_

_**Dei's Artistic Angel **__oh, did I ? I did ? … awesomeness . XD GOOO MINAKUSHI!! _

**Enjoy !**

* * *

**  
Chapter 19**

_As requested by __**Shinn Asuka – Blackest Angel**_

_Who knows? Maybe befriending your enemies will do you good. In this case, earning you more love and acceptance… and not waking up in a hospital ward._

**RULE # 19 : WELCOME HER FRIENDS**

* * *

_Well, just to please her. Mostly. And if you have a problem with them, just forget it and be a grown man. You'd end up dying, probably. Like what happened in the Sasuke Retrieval mission. You'd end up WORSE than all of our injuries put together. Dying twice, perhaps? Now THAT would be troublesome._

_**YAWN .**_

Shikamaru was lazily lying on his favourite couch napping away. Which is normal.

The two were in their apartment doing absolutely nothing after a mission. Which is, again, normal.

"Get the fuck up, lazy ass. We're cleaning this place up."

His girlfriend kicking the couch while he tries to sleep is normal.

But her, asking for help, nonetheless, to clean up their apartment unit?

Not the usual thing you'd hear her say.

"What's the occasion? I'm tired, bored, tired and all worn out. Can't I get some sleep around here these days?"

"Not now," Tayuya answered coldly. "Not really a special occasion. I want to see the floor."

"What for? Just shove the crap to the side! How's about you do it by yourself? How does that sound?" Shikamaru said.

"No, I –twitch- need help," Tayuya confessed.

"Aw, don't gimme that look," the chuunin said.

"Then get your ass out and move it," the redhead commanded.

"Troublesome woman," the brunette muttered.

"I'll pretend you didn't say anything."

The chuunin chuckled and vrushed his lips against the girl pouting.

* * *

After cleaning up for who-knows-how-long, Shikamaru sighed and jumped (yes, literally) happily on his couch while Tayuya cooked up some dinner which surprisingly tastes good.

**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK SCRATCH SCRATCH POUND POUND !**

Tayuya went up to the door.

"Now who the hell could that be? If that was that cat, I swear, I'll send that fucker to hell using my flute-"

"TAYUYAAAAAA!!" came a chorus of deep voices.

"AAAHH!! BASTARDS! YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME! I'm gonna kill you…" the girl growled the last part.

"LOL Tayuya, you should've really seen your face," Kidoumaru said between chuckles.

"Oh, fuck off, spider freak. Now what the hell do you want, huh?" she retorted.

"You haven't changed. A lady like you shouldn't be swearing," Jiroubou warned.

"Then you yourself should be taking a diet, fatass."

"Well, I… Real beauty is skin deep!"

"Then it's a deep search for you, fatty!"

The rest of the former sound four (or five) laughed hard leaving Jiroubou to go partially emo.

"Come on in," Tayuya did a gesture.

They all stepped in and before they could ACTUALLY step in, Tayuya held her hand up.

"Take off the shoes. We just cleaned up."

The men nodded and did as what they were told. The group hears a light snoring sound coming from the couch.

"Sorry. That's just Shika. WAKE UP, LAZY ASS!"

The visitors laughed again as the now awake Shikamaru fell off the couch due to Tayuya's loud nagging voice.

"Wh-what?! ZOMG THE CLOUDS DISAPPEARED!! NOO- Oh. Sorry," Shikamaru stammered.

_GHASP! It's those wierdos… why are THEY here? _

"Shika, would you mind if these bastards stay over for a while?" Tayuya asked kindly.

"… No," the pineapple headed boy lied. _HELL NO! I'd rather shave my head off!_

"A-are you sure? I mean, we could just barge in at Orochimaru's-" Kimimaro stuttered. He didn't want to be here in the fist place. He got dragged by his 'friends'.

"N-no, really. I –twitch- don't mind!" Shikamaru faked a smile.

"Thanks, Nara!" Sakon patted him hard on his back.

"No problem," the boy muttered.

* * *

_Why the hell won't they leave me alone?!_

"- and so I said, 'Hell no! Superman sucks! Spiderman kicks ass, dude!' and the guy was like-"

_Oh gawd. This never ends._

"I'm going to bed," Shikamaru yawned and went in the bedroom and lay down.

* * *

After a few minutes, he woke up with the sound of…

Crappy Orchestra music.

_Oh my god … I admit, Tayuya's really good, but the rest of them just suck._

Yeah, Tayuya's good at playing the flute; when it's harmless. The rest, (Sakon-violin, Jiroubou-tuba, Kimimaro-percussion and Kidoumaru-clarinet) just sounded lost, not belonging with the redhead's beautiful music.

Covering his head and ears with his pillow and grabbing it as tight as he can to block out the noise, it finally stopped… after an hour. But it wasn't over YET; it's just beginning.

* * *

"ZOMG, LET'S GO KARAOKE!!" he heard Kidoumaru yell. In return, he got a lot of noise as an approval.

"I WANNA GO FIRST!!" All of them declared but it seems like Sakon got the microphone first and started singing the old karaoke favorite, 'I Will Survive'.

_Oh HELL NAW. ANYTHING BUT THAT SONG!! PLEASE!! _At this point, our favorite pineapple headed chuunin started to cry.

After the song ended and being cheered for, Jiroubou then sang the –ahem- song, 'It's Raining Men'.

_OMFG NUUUUUU!! I LIKE TO LIVE! WHYYYYY?! _Loud sobs could be heard from the room and they paused.

"Is Shikamaru crying?" Kimimaro asked. "Nah, Shika's a strong, tough man! He wouldn't cry just because of a song!" Tayuya confidently said. Tayuya, you have no idea…

Thinking it was nothing, they continued to sing more annoying songs…

_Okay, I've had enough of this! I'm going to tell them off._

Shikamaru quickly jumped out of the bed and stomped to the door, opening it loudly to find the living room a mess.

"YOU FOUR! OUT. **NOW**," Shikamaru pointed to the door with a very angry, serious, SCARY face.

"Butbutbut… we just started having fun!" Kimimaro pouted.

"I don't CARE. Now get out!" Shikamaru commanded.

"Jeez, PMSing much…" Sakon muttered. Fortunately for him, Shikamaru was to annoyed to hear it.

"Wait! Guys, you don't have to go," Tayuya said.

"We're making him uncomfortable that it's sorta mean. See ya," Jiroubou waved.

"Aw, come on! Shika, why the fuck did you do THAT for?!" the redhead stomped.

"They were getting on my last nerve," he replied.

"You are staying RIGHT HERE. DON'T FUCKING MOVE," Tayuya pulled strongly at her friends.

"They know how to have fun! So deal with it," she continued.

"MY idea of fun is-"

"Who cares? It's boring," she pouted.

"Get out now," he repeated to the visitors.

"Stay," she growled. "ACTUALLY, you DO want them out, do you?"

"HELL YES," Shikamaru answered.

"Well, if you want them out of your life forever, I'm going back to Kimimaro," she whispered to him so no one else can hear.

"B-but…" he stuttered.

"Either that or you won't ever sleep again," she threatened. "I can't live without these bastards aka. my friends. -insert _awwww'_s from the guys- Oh, fuck that." She got her flute out and started playing a melody.

"DAAMMIIIIITTTTTTTTT!!" and so, he got blasted out of the house.

* * *

And in the morning when he woke up, he found a note stuck on his forehead. Wincing when he took out the note, he read it.

_Mornin', motherfucker. We brought your shit back to your mother's house and we're keeping the place. _

_I don't ever wanna see you again, so go rot in hell, bastard._

_See ya in hell, shithead._

_Tayuya_

_p.s. The guys said hi._

_Lovely letter, huh? Oh well. I'd spend my life in my mother's house forever. Until I get married._

TBC

* * *

**Was that okay? I don't really know . blame school, again. **

**Please review! You get virtual ramen! You know you want some…**

**- kLk .**


	20. Announcement!

**A/N: To all by beloved readers out there! Or whoever is left of you guys.**

**I'm alive.**

**And there is a possibility that I'm deleting this story.**

**Comment lots if you want a rewrite instead.**

**Kthnxbai. xD**

**~miacchi**


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